Hey anon! Sorry for just seeing this now. I haven't been checking my retrospring as frequently.

First of all, thank you so much for sending me this message. I was so pleasantly surprised to read this!

My process for writing is... hmm. Kind of all over the place. It always starts with a single scene. Usually this happens when I'm listening to music, driving, or showering. I'm not sure why, but this is when I most often tend to maladaptive daydream. I tend to "see" scenes play out in my head like a movie, and then from there, an entire story will develop. I've always had a very vivid imagination, ever since I was a kid.... Sometimes I don't even write as much as I just note down the things I'm seeing occur in my head. Sometimes I start with a rough outline, other times I just start writing. I heavily base my scenes around dialogue, a lot like a screenwriter or playwright would.

This daydreaming thing is partly a survival mechanism. I struggle with dissociation as a symptom of CPTSD. The short answer is to why I write heavy/dark content is because it's a way for me to process my own trauma and the world around me. It helps me express my own feelings, and I simply find it more interesting to explore taboo topics than common ones. In fiction, you can do anything, be anything, it's an experiment of sorts that I find fascinating.

As for being friends, as long as you are 20+ (as I'm not comfortable interacting with people online who are younger than that) I'd love to! I'm always happy to talk about writing and fandom. Please DM me or add me on discord. My username there is @finalproject, I'm easy to find! Don't worry about being weird, you're very sweet and thoughtful, anon!