a shadow · 8mo
Not much of a question but more of a thought I’ve been meaning to bury somewhere. This felt like a safe place to. I hate seeing people be burdened when they are courting someone or being courted. As if the whole stage is a pre-set or a preparation of sort for a relationship. The essence of wooing is being replaced by that of security. The guilt that eats you up when you realize through time that you aren’t really ready nor fitted to be in a committed relationship with the other person.
Idk if any of these makes sense or i’m being an a-hole hahaha. N e way, good eve.
i know this isn’t a question or anything. but i’m kind of confused with what you’re saying. both of it being a preparation of the relationship and also giving the person you are courting could also be true. but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll end up together. but, the answer always lies on the one that is being courted. the person who is courting is the one who wanted to express their feelings through that process after all.
the guilt that you are talking about in the person who courting the other person should be contemplated properly then. because, in my perspective you could’ve processed everything first yourself before fully committing in courting that other person and think if you are merely getting carried away by the moment. because even then it requires full commitment since you are handling somebody else’s feelings not only yours.
on the side of being courted, you shouldn’t let yourself be pressured into being with that person. courting is after all to see if after they really devoted to you and willing to go through all these hopes with genuine sincerity just to be with you. better not prolong the connection and give your answer to them if the guilt is eating you up. don’t let others dictate how you feel or be burdened by such responsibility of saying yes. the answer solely lies on you.
either way, do not decide in the spur of the moment.
