omg anon im so sorry for the late reply but i must say this ends in only one way. peanut chastising chovy, first off. that man is going to get the verbal berating of his LIFE. sorry not sorry but peanut does not support the choran agenda mainly bc his ass does not trust chovy one bit. and for good reason too. zeus is going to stand there incredibly awkwardly as he watches that go down. and then, additionally, because ZEUS is now in peanut's team, zeus is ALSO going to get yelled at. but this time because he left the dorms for a booty call or whatever and "oh my god that's SO irresponsible." please pray for chovy and zeus, they need help vs. the wrath of peanut. they won't even be able to get a word in edgewise about hypocrisy either. it's peanut, after all.

okay first off i am never sick of love of my writing, aml or other, bcuz im a NARCISSIST!!!!!!! ... ok im kidding. but really, i never get sick of the love you guys give me because it truly means a lot and i think saying "oh boo everyone loves aml so much" is like.. first world problem much? LKJDSALKFJ. i love that fic!! so im very happy ppl love it too. noah kahan is literally amazing btw, IM SO HAPPY UR LISTENING TO HIM!! the stick season (we'll all be here forever) album is OFC incredible, but i personally looove i was / i am. wooje in aml is very special and im glad he and my writing can connect to you!! your comment made perfect sense to me :)

hsbfhsfh wjnstt is such a.. problem ?? child?? for me, or like i have a love/hate relationship with it.. i really do at the end of the day love it though; it was my first "major" fic project and means/meant (?) a lot to me. i think it could've been written better.. but i feel that about all my fics, so that's alright. i should really reread it one of these days. but i digress! im very glad you like it :]

as for i want your violence!! im so sorry i haven't been updating it, its bc im working on this OTHER fic rn, but anyway ill try and update it soon!! hopefully ur questions can be answered :] if not, then after the fic is finish u can always pop back in here again ..! (well, maybe on tumblr BCS. retrospring is shutting down but u catch my drift). anyway i actually have no clue how long this fic will be? just as a ballpark number, id say anywhere from 70k to 100k, maybe even more. this baby is gn be probably my longest fic.

no worries about the long message; i love long messages like this. thank you so much anon, and i hope you have an amazing day <3

hey anon. i’m really sorry about the late reply on this—i first saw your submission on friday evening, and i’m typing this sunday and monday evening. i had to make a google doc and everything to write out exactly what i want to say. and i still can’t get through reading your message without crying. LOL

truth be told, i thought this was going to be a rlly funny ask when i saw the first paragraph!! i laughed so hard hearing about your keria/zeus assumption, and showed it to bebe (my beta reader), and then i calmed down enough to read the rest of your submission. and then i was like, oh this is. long. and so, so heartwarming that i cried tears of joy (not sadness!!! do not worry!!!)

to be honest, these days i’m reflecting more on my emotions and i just want to say i am very, very glad and grateful that you are here. i’m happy that my silly fic could impact you in the way it did. i never really foresaw how much love that fic would get, or how much love i would receive as a silly fic writer in general. i mean, when i started writing all my love, it was because my dad bought a stick shift and i learned how to drive one. (i stalled it so many times.) the very first scene i wrote was the one with hyunjoon and wooje in chapter one, when wooje drives the mustang for the first time in a long while. besides that, the idea for all my love had been floating in my head for a while—i knew i wanted to write a second-chance homecoming fic about returning back to your hometown after college. i was torn between two ships, onerzeus and bengifaker, but settled on onerzeus because that’s what bebe and ginger told me to do, and because i didn’t feel comfortable writing skt-era side characters since i didn’t know them as well. and i think that was the right choice. i mean, all my love has onerzeus written all over it. but it was that, plus my recent discovery of noah kahan and his deluxe album that just fit my ideas so well, which sort of formed the start of all my love.

in general, all my love became very, very self-indulgent. me and my dad’s music taste, the cars, the mechanic shop, the found family trope, making gumakeria get married. all things from me, that i love, that i want, or that i enjoy. i think for that reason it surprised me that so many people were attracted to it and loved it. but ginger tells me that’s why so many people love it in the first place—because i poured myself and the things i love into it. I MEAN I PUT JOJOPYUN IN IT FOR GODS SAKE JUST BECAUSE I LOVE HIM. but i don’t know. she’s smarter than me, so i’ll just take her word for it. and you are, too—you’re right when you say it’s a love story. ginger also used that wording before in the past while talking to me—bursting with love—and i showed it to her with a smile. wooje struggles with himself and his home and his family. i always made fun of the fact it’s a whole 13k before hyunjoon—the love interest—shows up in all my love, and i freaked out while writing chapter 3 that he talks to primarily minseok and sanghyeok at the start of it, but i feel like that in itself shows how much the other relationships matter. (huh. maybe i should add the zeus&minseok tag, zeus&faker, or the zeus&t1 tag.)

but i’m really happy this self-indulgent fic spoke to so many people, though. i guess love just shines through, or something.

it was the last paragraphs of your message that hit me the hardest. you have told me some of the kindest words i have ever heard. i never really get all that personal in my fic notes, or my twitter, but i’m certain i’ve mentioned my mental states vaguely. i wasn’t necessarily going through a lot when i wrote all my love, but i was battling depression, my father was battling cancer, and toward the end i got into a horrible car crashed that tanked all my mental progress in one day. (ironically, i ended up a lot like hyunjoon after his and wooje’s crash.) i’m kind of going through a lot right now and that’s why i cried after reading this submission. my depression has gotten much better, but i’ve entered a stage of grief since i lost my father to cancer last month. i got this retrospring submission on friday evening, like i said. saturday was his memorial. the whole week had been horrible for me; i was an emotional wreck—but then i saw your submission. and that was my warm hug, anon. i read it, and reread it, and bawled like a baby on and off for an hour. you seeing the love in my story and me means a lot. you called me a star—i’ve always loved stars. call me naive for believing in fate, but i haven’t had a retrospring submission in a month. so this means a lot to me. you mean a lot to me. i don’t think i’ll ever forget this message.

all my love is by no means a perfect fic, but it’s full of love. i love it, and many people love it. it—and all my writing, really—is meant to share joy and love from my little corner of the universe. i’m overjoyed that me and my fics can impact you like this. i love writing, i love my fics, and i love you guys. so thank you for reading and supporting and sending love. it truly means the world to me.

the way this is asked makes me cracked up im ngl!! ok top three artists (all time im assuming..?) is (god this is so fucking hard) arctic monkeys, the neighborhood, and sabrina carpenter. probably.
rn im reliving my middle school yrs w sabrina and listening to her evolution album on repeat (mirage has been my fav off that album!! since like forever!!) listen to the whole album i dare you.
for the neighbourhood, ive been listening to stargazing, compass and fallen star as of late. mwah i love them. stargazing is like the most romantic song of all time i think.
arctic monkeys will always be top all time aksjfdlkjsfd!! tranquility base hotel + casino is always in circulation.

hi anon and thank you for your ask! sorry for the late answer, i was thinking on this one for a while. trigger warning for anyone, i mention sensitive topics here.

the thing about morals is that they're subjective. like, obviously, many people like to think they're objective, and they are to a point. like MORALLY, child abuse is BAD! that is very true! don't abuse children guys! but what i'm trying to say is the line blurs a bit when it comes to comparably less bad and harmful stuff--what you're talking about: the ~questionable~. some people think writing rpf is morally wrong. do i? looks at my works um no. personally, i think life is too short to ponder on the morality of writing stupid fanfiction about league of legends proplayers. but to answer your question on "morally questionable" topics in fics specifically--im assuming, r/nc, death, self-harm/suicidal ideation, gore, abject characterization (like portraying (specifically an irl person) as a rapist or something)? i think it's the same kinda thing. people do or not do it, if i don't like it i won't interact. im sure they have their reasons and im im not going to go yelling at people for doing something or not doing something. was nabokov wrong for writing lolita? will me answering that question change anything? as long as you are true to yourself, your morals, and your beliefs, then i think that's good. in the broader scope of things, whats important is living a happy and fulfilling life yk. igaf what people do. i personally don't feel comfortable reading or writing some things, so i just don't do it or interact with it.

however, i have written/am writing gore and some more heavy topics (im literally working on a hunger games au right now). i'm sure that falls under "morally questionable/wrong" for some people. im sure rpf falls under "morally questionable/wrong" for some people! like, don't blame me was rather "tame" but like, if you think about it seriously, i literally strip keria of his humanity and turn him into an obsession demon. is that wrong? who knows i just thought "haha runeterra demon" because i read WAY too much fiddlesticks lore and then wrote a fic. i touch on suicidal ideation, self-harm, and abuse in all my love. i probably/might/maybe/im not promising anything will write some form of smut in the future, only what im comfortable with though. like i said, it's largely an introspective experience and has to do with yourself and your morals. if you decide you don't like something, don't interact, but don't go spreading hate to the people that do like it. the only thing i regret in reference to my fics and morality is probably like, we just need some time together but only because i was in a bad headspace when i wrote it (depression goes brr) and i think i used a lot of my emotions there in a bit of an unfiltered way. maybe it isn't as bad as i remember it, though. i haven't read it in a while and i wrote it two-ish years ago. should probably reread it.

just cus this is MY retrospring (ha) ill leave a lil list for people about my works specifically (subject to change, but probably wont). basically what my fics revolve around, what i will/wont write. um, all my fics revolve mainly around love. (love that takes a darker turn in like, don't blame me) but it really is the main topic i write about--relationships and love (but doesn't everyone?). haha funny for an arospec girl, right--but love exists on many wavelengths, not just romantic, so yeah. love for writing and esports and the players in general is why i write.
next, i won't ever write suffering for the sake of it. im not someone who goes into google docs like "im going to write whump and cause pain and suffering and make people cry!" if angst in a fic doesn't have a substantial purpose or reason then i'm not doing it. i've scrapped one fic that did that (im not proud that i started it in the first place, but tbf to defend 2023 gwen i was in a really bad place mentally). i also won't write r/nc or like ship minors w adults or anything bc that is not something i want to do! i probably wont ever write like pure pwp cus i don't wanna. i try to portray the more difficult subjects in my works like sh/suicidal ideation/abuse/depression well and non-offensively. i keep my shipping in private places: ao3, tumblr, a private twitter, because that's what i want to do. i've identified my own morals and i stick to them!

all in all, rpf in general is weird. it literally is projecting fantasies on real people (shipping or not, which why i kind of LOL at people that hate fics shipping or with smut of real people yet turn around and write fics killing real people. ...?) like i said: it's all the same isn't it? we're projecting fake fantasies on real people and turning them into characters. obviously some fantasies are um, "worse" than others but that's exactly what i mean--that's for you to decide. i always make sure to detach my fanfiction from reality--i don't actually think the ppl im shipping are in love, and i don't take portrayals of proplayers and their characters 1to1. if a character is a "jerk" in a fic im not going to turn and go hate on that proplayer irl.

what i have realized for myself and what i can say is... don't stress about it. like i said, life is too short to worry about whether or not reading/writing fanfiction about real people (that they will (probably) never see) is a bad thing. if you get a thesis statement from this long-ass answer, it's literally life is too short to worry about [insert text here]. chill! go forth and have fun!! i love yall!!! alright, gwen out.