Anonymous Coward · 2y
hii PLZ IGNORE IF TOO INVASIVE im cringing @ myself BUT u seem v open about ur sex life which i feel like is kinda uncommon on anitwt but very cool of u to do so & i was wondering if u had any wisdoms for a 20+ ✨ver jin✨ i honestly don’t think im revolting but i just feel like there has never been a mutual interest. n ppl r always like “everyone has a different pace!!” but at this point im just SUFFERIN lol so i was just curious bc u seem like a very cool n wise internet mommy hehe
!!! you KNOW there is no such thing as too invasive. do not cringe at yourself this is a great question and actually something I dealt with myself!! so honoured to be internet mommy, I am here for you <3 <3 <3 <3
unfortunately my ultimate Wisdom is the same as everyone else's, everyone really does move at their own pace. imo from your message it seems like you're ready and want to but haven't been in the right situation for it to happen yet, and that's okay! the fact that you mention "mutual interest" is great, meaning you're not in such a rush to boink that you're lowering your standards just bc someone's into you. if you want to have sex you'll get there, there's absolutely gonna be people you can't wait to get your hands on who feel the same for you!! it's okay to never have met a person you're attracted to mutually yet, 20 is so young!!
I was in a similar boat for a while, when I was 17-19 I wanted to have sex to "get it over with" because most of my friends had and I wanted to fit in omg. I didn't end up actually sleeping with anyone until I was 20 bc things just kept not working out right and I'm really happy with that! sex is like anything else you experience, it's like your first time driving a car by yourself or trying raw octopus lmao it doesn't make you Different and you don't Learn Something Deep just because you do it, it just becomes something you now know.
also btw nobody has ever judged me for being a virgin at 20 and one of my friends is a virgin at 25 and (aside from a few jokes from close friends) nobody gives them any grief, it's totally okay and not something that's shameful!
last thing I will say is that if it's something you really, truly want to experience, putting yourself out there is helpful. dating apps have been fruitful for me and it really is a numbers game in a way, bc the more people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone who you feel a spark with :) obviously be safe and meet up in public places and make sure there's trust (especially if you're interested in men) (you already know all of that but I had to say it as wise internet mommy)
good luck bb I hope that was helpful in some way!!!!
