it's funny you say that bc akaashi is like the only hq char i only see being with one person?? i multiship pretty much everyone so idk why this is. there's so much good osaaka out there tho so i hear you (i read a lot for some unknown reason before i even finished s1 of hq. wtf.). i like when osaaka fics dont try to pretend bokuto doesnt exist and recognize his role in akaashi's life... i am a sucker for Bokuto Is Straight and akaashi suffers directly into the strong arms of osamu

even if you stray from iwaoi its okay bb. they will always be lovin on each other. iwaoi and their popularity steamroll a lot of other ships so they deserve this

hi my love... hmm i haven't thought about kghn in detail much since iwaoi took over my brain but their relationship is very tender and sweet to me and i think they went through a lot of firsts together... first real crush, first time holding hands Romantically, first date, first kiss...!

lately i think of them experiencing Young Love together but splitting up when they leave high school and then reconnecting in a few years' time as adults (this fits canon timelines lol). idk, i think it does them well to grow separately before coming back to grow together. i think they get together again while they're on the olympic team together. it's a very badly kept secret. hinata is actually okay at pretending/lying, but kageyama doesn't even notice sometimes when he lets something slip 😭

in terms of how they are separately... i think kageyama's mom showed her love by doing things for her kids so he doesn't know how to cook or clean like at all when he moves out. hinata is a terrible cook but at least he knows how to use a stove and makes healthy meals. yama is hopeless. both of them dress like shit, hinata wears whatever godawful bright patterns he likes and kageyama just wears the same pair of basketball shorts everywhere (i've tweeted that hc before, in my defense i believe it deeply)

this is VERY interesting consideration, I absolutely understand why it's been consuming you. thank you for sending this it made me want to rub my hands together like a shitty little fly. I wrote way too much about this

here's my take: I think it depends on what "obsessed with" means for you and why it's a problem for you specifically. like is obsession just wanting to talk to this person all the time, feeling a connection/like you "click" naturally, thinking about them all the time? bc that's all neurochemicals telling you to stick with this person! that's a huge part of what we know chemically as Love! so in and of itself I think it's normal, fine, and honestly fun and some of the best parts of being a human being tbh. BUT I can see why this would be an issue if the person you're into doesn't feel the same way/feels the same but not as intense/is stringing you along or you're otherwise getting hurt, and you're sick of getting hurt and want to do something about it. in that case I don't think it's the obsessive feelings that are the issue, but the person and the nature of the relationship you have with the person you're obsessed with. in this case I do think what your therapist says has legs: if you keep being obsessed with people who aren't obsessed with you back, give someone a chance who doesn't inspire those feelings at first and see what happens? BUT!!!!

I think if you've been on a couple dates with someone and you're not feeling a spark, there's nothing wrong with moving on. it's true that you may grow to love someone you didn't initially click with, but if you consistently find someone boring or conversation doesn't come naturally even after spending considerable time together I don't think there's a point pursuing that tbh. like if you don't even find them interesting as a friend, I wouldn't push it. I do know that sometimes you can grow to be REALLY into someone you didn't really click with at first but I think you'd know if that has a possibility of happening after spending a few hours with them. so the advice has legs but also kind of depends on the situation

here's the other thing: if the issue has been that you keep having intense relationships that start obsessively but fizzle out, and your goal is a successful long-term relationship I DON'T think it has legs. I think that initial obsession is just your brain being like I CHOOSE THIS ONE and what happens with the relationship longterm just depends on you and the other person and how you choose to deal with it. my partner and I absolutely started off mutually obsessively, I was absolutely smitten with this person and remember thinking (like 3 months into dating) "man if they asked me to get married rn I would literally do it tomorrow. I would literally do it with a ring pop." those obsessive feelings have gone away after 5 years but it's replaced with deep companionate love and trust, and we still have just as much fun and happiness together as we did at first. I think a lot of people get freaked out when the obsessive phase passes and they interpret it as falling out of love (and yes of course this can also happen) but imo most of the time it's probably just the nature of the feelings you have changing and that's normal. so to answer your question about obsession not being indicative of a successful long term relationship: I think it absolutely can be! just depends on how those feelings change over time and how you react to them.

SUMMARIZED: I think you can consider giving someone a chance who you aren't obsessed with, but if you don't find yourself growing feelings or seeing them in a new light after spending some time together I personally wouldn't continue to pursue that. and initial obsession can absolutely grow into a successful LTR and just depends on you and your relationship!!!

hope this helped lmao I tried my best.

oh hell yeah...... in my brain iwa is one of those people who has Never felt comfortable in their assigned gender at birth and ALWAYS preferred to be referred to as a boy and he growing up. so when he gets older and those thoughts and feelings haven't gone away nobody is even remotely surprised, especially oikawa, who had been referring to him as a guy for years at that point. i like to think by the time he's old enough to play vball in middle school he's completely transitioned socially and he's really excited to be able to play on oikawa's team :') otherwise he's Just Iwachan. he doesn't hide the fact that he's trans but he also doesn't share that fact once people start assuming he's cis at some point in high school

!!! you KNOW there is no such thing as too invasive. do not cringe at yourself this is a great question and actually something I dealt with myself!! so honoured to be internet mommy, I am here for you <3 <3 <3 <3

unfortunately my ultimate Wisdom is the same as everyone else's, everyone really does move at their own pace. imo from your message it seems like you're ready and want to but haven't been in the right situation for it to happen yet, and that's okay! the fact that you mention "mutual interest" is great, meaning you're not in such a rush to boink that you're lowering your standards just bc someone's into you. if you want to have sex you'll get there, there's absolutely gonna be people you can't wait to get your hands on who feel the same for you!! it's okay to never have met a person you're attracted to mutually yet, 20 is so young!!

I was in a similar boat for a while, when I was 17-19 I wanted to have sex to "get it over with" because most of my friends had and I wanted to fit in omg. I didn't end up actually sleeping with anyone until I was 20 bc things just kept not working out right and I'm really happy with that! sex is like anything else you experience, it's like your first time driving a car by yourself or trying raw octopus lmao it doesn't make you Different and you don't Learn Something Deep just because you do it, it just becomes something you now know.

also btw nobody has ever judged me for being a virgin at 20 and one of my friends is a virgin at 25 and (aside from a few jokes from close friends) nobody gives them any grief, it's totally okay and not something that's shameful!

last thing I will say is that if it's something you really, truly want to experience, putting yourself out there is helpful. dating apps have been fruitful for me and it really is a numbers game in a way, bc the more people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone who you feel a spark with :) obviously be safe and meet up in public places and make sure there's trust (especially if you're interested in men) (you already know all of that but I had to say it as wise internet mommy)

good luck bb I hope that was helpful in some way!!!!

interesting question... i mean yeah? that's not ideal and makes me uncomfortable but realistically its kind of impossible to make sure everything ive ever read was written by an adult. imo i feel like i can Tell when something's written by someone in high school (like from the wording/writing style/dialogue/even format and themes) but that's not even close to foolproof. theres def a possibility that ive read nsfw written by someone under 18. it kind of comes with ao3 being an anonymous platform

also i think teens writing smut have no obligation to disclose that theyre teens. i dont think what theyre doing is wrong or they should stop doing it bc some adult somewhere might be uncomfortable if they knew. their right to explore their sexuality safely trumps that by far imo. i think people using the internet are allowed to stay anonymous and not worry about the hypothetical feelings of some rando. when i was a teen i didnt even KNOW adults were still reading fic lol i kind of assumed it was all written by people like me

long story short: yes it makes me uncomfortable but thats my problem and teens should be allowed to write fic without worrying about potential discomfort

hey no worries! this is prob going on twitter anyway tho lol and also this will be LONG! tw I'm going to mention nasty and abusive things incl p*dophilia, pls don't read if you don't feel comf

I'm gonna be honest, I feel like everyone has a different understanding of what proship/anti even means which is why my profile doesn't say anything about it. if everyone has a different understanding of the term, the term becomes meaningless bc it isn't telling me anything. in general I don't care what someone ships or writes about as long as it doesn't have the potential for harm (which is a whole new can of worms, because we can all argue about what has a potential for harm). for me the thing that is always harmful, that I never want to see/interact with full stop, is ANYTHING sexual involving kids (teens writing nsfw about other teens is different. sure go nuts I don't read it so I won't see it and it's their right to explore their sexuality in a safe way). I think no matter what, even if only 1 other person sees an image or fic sexualizing a child, there's potential for harm (could argue that that IS harm in itself)!! kids should never be sexualized, period. otherwise I'm kind of live and let live because I think the potential for harm is far smaller when we get into the impact of "normalizing" or sexualizing certain things. since fic in general is a niche interest, someone's fic that sexualizes abuse (though I think it's gross) would realistically only reach a few thousand people max (as I said tho, it's different when kids are involved and even 1 person seeing that is too many. it's different bc seeing that shit CAN make people more likely to be ok with child abuse and even perpetuate it). there's nuance surrounding other stuff tho and imo the impact would be relatively small. I prefer not to see incest and sexualized abuse etc but I can't know why people do what they do and ultimately I won't. fic is hugely cathartic, so maybe it's a way to process things in their own life. I can't know that without talking to them/reading those fics and I'm not going to do that lol so ultimately I will never know.
all that to say, I don't think someone's bio saying proship/anti tells me anything about what they actually believe or interact with. I follow some people who post shit I don't always like or agree with but I truly don't mind that hard. I don't think what you read about or ship has anything to do with your morality as a person (except kids beep beep absolutely I think sexualizing kids makes someone a shit person). so basically: it really isn't simple for me. please don't interact if your profile sexualizes children. otherwise I Do Not Care and if something you post bothers me I just won't follow you lmao. if this message was sent to Make Sure I'm Morally Sound you can respond as you see fit and unfollow if you don't like what I said, as that is also your prerogative!