anon · 21d
vianna, how do you love so freely and express that love so beautifully? your words are always so genuine & pretty towards sunghoon but it feels like im lacking when it comes to expressing my love for him (someone else). i see people around me show their caring self but i cant bring myself to do so. maybe a part of it is bc im so afraid of being vulnerable (again) but when i see your words for sunghoon, it's so so beautiful. i was wondering where did you get your inspiration from, how did you end up writing such beautiful words & how do you have such a beautiful soul? i want to start being like that (again) after closing myself off for the longest time.
hm well not all of my letters are for sunghoon. most are, yes, but i think a big proponent in loving freely (because it really /is/ a hard thing to be able to do—i’m not sure if i succeed at it myself) is allowing it to come to you in all your avenues of life, wherever you’re fortunate enough to touch it. if you know me at all you know vulnerability is a big big fear of mine but wanting to love someone overrules every one of my inhibitions. it sounds so silly and so cheesy but when you want to love someone it comes out in however it sees fit—if not by words, than by deeds. you don’t need to be beautiful in your love, that IS the beauty of it—it is not a requirement or a precedent. i’ve actually been going through a crazy episode these last few weeks, not knowing how to navigate my life when i feel like a burden to every living thing around me, when i’m so unable and poorly equipped to accept the love that comes to me so abundantly. so please don’t let the perceived beauty of other people’s love deter you from loving, too. it’s not beautiful and it doesn’t have to be xx
