good morning we're back with more cater fun times

so, i think cater isn't close with his dad like. at ALL. we know that they travel a lot for his dad's job and that his dad is a banker so my assumption is that they really don't see him a ton because he's usually working. on top of that he doesn't really relate to his father at all, they don't see eye to eye on a lot of things and his dad doesn't really "get" him. kind of your typical "only half there" sort of dad. cater is definitely closer with his mom, and he loves his mom, but they have a strained relationship. i like to think she's the type of person who is pretty closed off to criticism and takes criticism personally, so anytime cater tries to talk to her about how he's feeling she gets sort of defensive and he feels like he has to back off because he knows the conversation isn't going to go anywhere. maybe I'm projecting (hehe) but it seems to me like cater very much feels like a stranger in his own home, and i think that's probably where a lot of his people-pleasing tendencies come from. like he has to act like a totally different person to keep his mom and sisters and dad happy, and the person he has to be for each of them is different. and it's exhausting.

plus i have this headcanon that as cater got older and started showing more signs of depression bpd/rsd (not that he didn't show it when he was younger, it just became more prominent the more he grew into it) his family got more resistant to it- like they would get on his case if it seemed like he was being a downer or taking things to seriously or being what they perceived as "overly sensitive", which is just another reason that cater feels like he has to hide how he's feeling, because he just assumes that no one is going to take him seriously

ultimately it's not like he hates his family, it's just sort of complicated situation that he feels like he can't escape, and a home life where he feels like he's never going to actually be Himself (tm)

well if it's for research purposes, who am i to deny you, right?

SO. i think cater is somewhere on the scale between nonbinary and bigender. i think he identifies more with femininity in general but he's clearly sort of wary of things that are perceived as being like super feminine/super cute, since obviously his sisters put way too much stock into that kind of stuff growing up. but like... i really liked his jasmine silk personal story bc it shows that he doesn't hate being perceived as soft all the time, i think he just wants to be GENUINE and less like. the front that he's putting on if that makes sense. and tbh i'm sure his gender goes hand in hand with how he presents himself socially and on social media, bc he's always trying to curate this perfect personality for everyone, and i think he minimizes who he actually is a LOT, which i'm sure makes exploring your gender and how you actually want to present as. difficult lol. i like to imagine that he does want to be more feminine but between having cuteness used to measure his worth as a child to feeling obligated to present himself in a way that satisfies the people around him he's like. stuck, basically, as this weird cater amalgamation that is neither who he really is or who he actually wants to be, but the person who accomplishes the goal of making other people happy/feel better about themselves. i have no idea if this made sense, but thanks for coming to my ted talk

you may have some modern au headcanons today. crowley is a former foster child. he grew up on a farm where he did not learn the value of hard work because he was a thin, sickly child who turned into a chronic pain teen, BUT he did get to help take care of the animals. he loves all animals but he’s wary of cats and cats don’t like him (it’s the bird energy, mostly). birds are his favorite animals, obviously, and about 90% of his random knowledge and facts are about birds. he doesn’t think he is particularly talented (he did mediocre in school and he’s not “much of a hobby guy” now (his words)) but he is a good writer- though he hasn’t written in a long time. if u would like more headcanons, pls deposit one (1) head pat into my retrospring ask box, thank u