justice to jayyy he's the real best boy in the story especially in the ep like he has the most sense and like the realest and most honest to jakey so far! whats up with riki always choosing violence against heeseung?! shhsjdkd and oh my jake & heeseung's mom bonding and their conversation in that kitchen! oh so glad to know they didnt really intend for jake to be used like that... but woah jake's parents insisting for him to be used that way is soooo?!?!?! like theyre so evil! cruel!!! now heeseung's words and refusal during the wedding night makes more sense >< oh btw i love the part when jake got advices from each of the boys like i can imagine each scene cutting to get that whole part like do you get what i mean? it's like a part of a movie where it's continuous but they're using diff slices of moments!!! didnt expect for heeseung and jake to not talk for like a whole month and tbh i was expecting they'd get so frustrated and miss eo sm that they're finally gna have make up sex but ofc heeseung always the gentleman and hopeless romantic 🤧 cute. i love this chapter sooo much im gna reread it multiple times bet

So I might've devoured that new chapter at work because no way I'm waiting till the evening. I'll definitely be re-reading it a couple of times for all the small details and just the wording in general, I love the way you write, it carries over the emotions so perfectly, all the descriptions are so vivid, simply wonderful.

Here's the thing. I love the "good" stuff in your works. The reconciliations, the soft moments, kisses and nose rubs (oh god, the nose rubs), soft sex, not so soft sex. But there's just something about your angst, how it actually feels like my chest is caving in as I read, it's kind of addictive. That's exactly what the start of chapter nine does to me, just the image of Jake all alone with his thoughts and anger and grief. What I love about the start of the chapter is that it isn't Heeseung who gets him out of that funk. It's Riki, coming in to check on him because he likes Jake, because he worries, because he cares. This boy just warms my heart, even when there are no romantic feelings involved, your Yunkis are just so endearing. Riki gently explaining what he knew about the deal and Heeseung's reaction to the marriage, straight up outing Heeseung's ginormous crush at first sight, how he's respectful of Jake's space even though he isn't used to not being able to touch him? And Riki's reaction to the possibility of Jake being "for sale", how distraught he is over it, it really makes me wonder just how much of the deal info all of the other boys (other than Riki and Jay) knew. I also love how he jumps to Heeseung's defence but when he sees that Jake has his own thoughts on that, he doesn't push, even though he firmly believes that Heeseung wouldn't stand for something like that. The hug scene is so sweet, especially with Riks asking beforehand if it's okay, threatening Heeseung's physical wellbeing in Jake's honour, how insistent he gets when Jake doesn't understand anyone there would want to protect him. Officially telling Jake that he is family, even though he hasn't been there for as long of a time as the others. I simply love Riki in your fics. He is very similar to Heeseung, but he's a lot more upfront about his thoughts and opinions. I feel like this applies to real life too, maybe because Riki was so young when the boys got thrown into the iland dungeons, but you can see all of enha's (and a bunch of other ilander's) quirks in him and it's just so sweet. Jake thinking of him as a palate cleanser speaks so much of how he is a safe space to Jake. Non-jugemental and ready to listen, even when he might not agree with what he hears. No need to answer if you don't want to, but do you see yourself writing a full on Yunki longfic? Obviously I'll welcome your Heejake anytime, they're my faves for a reason, but you've successfully ruined my ship list so I might as well ask-

I love the little scene where Jake basically gets back on his feet. How he finally unpacks, it feels like he's accepted that he isn't leaving, that he won't give up. The flowers, his resolution to learn more things, to explore the world he's been given access to. Yet again, as a supporter of the independent Jake agenda, I am so happy to see that scene. There is nothing wrong with Jake leaning on Heeseung and the others, but seeing him want to be his own person is just great.

While there are a lot of contenders for my favourite scene in this chapter, I think that Jake's conversation with Jake might just take the cake (I hate how that rhymed). From the very first sentence, Jay's nonchalance, his "well duh" attitude and how fast he switches up when he sees Jake's hesitance about everything. About letting him into his safe space, how careful he is to not mess it up, even complimenting Jake's decor. It's the essence of Jay's character really. No matter how "explosive" he might seem sometimes, how big of a personality he has, he's kind of the pillar there, firm and calm as he spends time with Jake, gentle and sweet and supportive, but also not taking any bullshit. He unfolds the whole situation with Jake in a very clear way, no unnecessary secrets, no white lies for comfort. Just tells him everything as it is, answers Jake's questions and I find that really admirable. Overall, I've been loving Jay in this fic, how he's so incredibly loyal to Heeseung but still accepting of Jake and not afraid to call out both of their bullshit. The way he tells Jake that they can't make up if both of them don't put the work in, that he won't get better if he refuses to face everyone else, I admire this man. Also bonus brownie points for how he still makes sure to give Jake a choice. A safe space to retreat if he feels like he needs to - saying that he'll leave the food outside if Jake doesn't want him to come in, offering to come to the main house with him, even if it's under the guise of getting ingredients, the thing with bringing the tray back. A little push to help Jake find some courage, but still metaphorically ready to catch him if he doesn't make it. Jayke might not be the closest of friends in this fic, but Jay is exactly what Jake needs in these situations. Someone level-headed, not fiercely protective like Riki, not self-sacrificing like Heeseung. On the topic of Jay, I'm so curious to see what he'll be like in omfbt.

And now comes the VERY close second fave scene in the chapter, I wasn't exactly expecting this tentative kinship between Jake and Hee's mother, but this scene broke my heart and mended it at the same time. I love how the scene starts out kind of slow, with the two of them discussing cooking, but then it gets deeper, down to the family matters and finally, there's the moment where Jake breaks down and she's there to pick up the pieces. I'm still a little pissy that she didn't stand up for Jake earlier in the story, but her firmly telling him that they don't intend to sell him out, that he is free to do as he wishes, I'm so glad we got this scene. At the same time, I'm glad that she explains the family situation they find themselves in, how they came into their status, how easy it would be to lose it, but when Jake tells her he thinks her husband is cruel, she doesn't deny it, but she doesn't leave it at that either. She's a wonderful blend of a mother and a wife and I hope we get some more mama Lee moments as the story goes on.

Alrighty. For a couple of paragraphs, I just had the urge to like - idk - grab Hee by the shoulders and shake him like a freaking smoothie. I 100% get where he's coming from, most of the boys say it later, he's all too sure that Jake wants him as far away as possible and he's trying to respect it, but oh dear god, my boy, love yourself a little too. It's painful, how they're so close, yet so far away, how neither of them has the courage to take that first step towards making things right. But the ensuing scene that feels like a sit-com moment, a mosaic of "are you fr" moments with most of the boys when Jake complains about not being able to talk to Hee, that bit was hilarious. Especially Jungwon's. Man's out here trying to balance the accounts while explaining what a boner is, that deserves some respect. Also literally everyone and their mother trying to get the spouse disasters together and then promptly ditching them made me laugh.

Honestly, I'm not all that surprised that it all comes to head in a jealous scene. Especially with Heeseung insisting before that he's all Jake's, the poor boy feeling truly possessive for the first time in his life couldn't have ended differently. It was genuinely satisfying as hell to have Jake march up to Hee and just drag him away to "stake his claim", although I was lowkey there like "Jakey, baby, there are people like six feet away from you, they see you, Jakey please, you're in public-" the whole time. But the moment where he just can't form the words, doesn't know what to say or do so he just defaults to kissing Heeseung as means of communication, that's art right there. The way they touch each other, the sheer longing and the joy of holding one another again. And Jake crying again, all of the frustration, anger and annoyance, the way he missed Heeseung, the way he loves Heeseung, you can feel every single emotion this poor baby feels and it's so great. I love Heeseung for checking in, still trying to set boundaries so that Jake is safe, even at the cost of his own feelings, but Jake taking none of that and finally FINALLY making sure that Heeseung understands exactly where they stand... I love this fic. I really do. Also yet again, Heejake being t h i s close to fucking somewhere they should not fuck is just wonderful. Even more is the moment when Jake understands that Heeseung no longer wants to take it slow because he's worried about Jake but because he cares and wants to love him properly, even though he didn't say that out loud- and the sick satisfaction I got when Jake lowkey taunted the touchy woman? Delicious. The way Jake checked sweaty Heeseung out is so relatable, honestly. Like seriously, why is that man so pretty? Like sir, your voice is already the best thing I've ever heard in my life, why do you have to look like a greek statue as well? So oh dear, I get Jake on a visceral level. Also Hee mistaking it for "funny haha" teasing at first before he realizes that Jake is very much horny for him was golden.

Overall, I enjoyed this chapter so much. We finally got some more answers, some more solid declarations to Jake, Jake is making up his mind about what he wants and is making sure Heeseung knows it as well. The boys are back together, fluffy and gentle and beautiful as always and I'm so happy to see it. And now I really feel like the personification of the Ralph Wiggum "I'm in danger" meme, because this is the scene we end on and there are 4 more chapters. Obviously not everything is solved yet, I'm curious to see if we'll get a confrontation with Hee's dad or possibly even some more of Jake's family? And I'm excited for the angst, I really am, but I'm also very scared and please, take that as a compliment-

This is very likely my last ask on this site, I will find you wherever you decide to move on to, I'll send my asks in twt dms if I have to, god knows I'm finishing (and re-reading it like 50 times) this fic with full laser focus. For the time being, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.

I hope today was a good day, you said it was a big one, did it go well? Wishing you all the best for now, in anything you're up to!
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I'm glad you look forward to my word vomit every week! And the I-Land Heeseung thing, I understand that on a visceral level. I actually took a break from k-pop between 2018 and 2022 (I've been into it since 2013 and some of the industry and fandom changes made me need a little breather), so I completely missed Enha's debut, but I watched I-Land when I eventually got into both Enha and &team and Heeseung caught my eye from the very beginning for exactly those reasons. A kind, soft-spoken boy who gives so much, tries to help everybody and the way I almost cried in episode 2 when the whole leader argument happened? My poor boy.. so yes, I completely understand the urge to write him like that and I look forward to it every time.
Also an off-topic question, but since retrospring might be going down (though I haven't seen the shut down banner on my fyp in a while?), will you be moving to any other site?
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Even the beginning of the new chapter is devastating, having Jake dress up and think about his previous life, how he's so used to the expectations and demands, the way he's still putting everybody else's opinions above his own. Also a side note, I love your descriptions of Jake, the details and subtleties. He really is ethereal - it's interesting how Jake only seems to think of himself like that when he's made up and dressed up like he was taught. Him seeing Heeseung reminds me a little of their wedding, but the comfortable closeness they share at this point of the story makes it so much better. Also as a Heeseung biased person, I'm in love with his dangly earrings and every time you mention them in your fics, I smile a little, just because. They really are so sweet together, the compliments shared, how Jake notices that being complimented is not something Heeseung's used to... and well, that's about where the soft things end.

Even in this conversation scene, where nothing "bad" has happened yet, Heeseung's hesitance towards the conference, how he's still trying to wiggle out of it, it already rubbed me wrong while I read it for the first time. And oh, especially on a re-read of the chapter, the "YOU are expected" hits so hard. It also hurts, literally gutwrenching kind of pain, because Heeseung knows. He knows, he's expecting that something will happen and still clings to that avoidance, the hope that nothing will actually go wrong and he can keep the all the bad stuff to himself. Knowing that Heeseung is withholding information on purpose right now, I feel for him, I definitely know where he's coming from, but god, was that a bad move.

I'm definitely coming back to Heeseung in this rant, but for now, the whole Lee family dynamic is really interesting. The way they're introduced in the earlier chapters makes them seem important, but the two most recent chapters kind of break that facade, from the intergenerational arguments to the way they're not actually as well-off as I expected them to be. Heeseung's behaviour already spoke of this in the beginning of the story (and honestly, so did Jake's fbi level of information gathering and how it brought absolutely nothing up), but these few chapters and learning that it's all mostly glitz and glam has been eye-opening. Heeseung's father is a really interesting character, especially because he really isn't just a bad father. I have to read the whole thing again asap to properly make my connections, but for now, Heeseung's father is someone trying to keep everything together, running smoothly, and there's no place for emotions in that equation. From what I've noticed, there's a very basic distinction between Heeseung and his dad, that being that Hee is mostly driven by his emotions while his father is much more logical? He has a business, he has a son that isn't meeting his expectations for that business and with the added pressure of new opportunities stemming from the deal, it's all too realistic that he'd snap at anybody and everybody and I like how you handled that particular situation. It would be all too easy to let Jake and everybody else write him off as evil business man and be done with it, let everyone just straight up bad-mouth him the second he's out of earshot. But Heeseung still tries to defend him, Jake is bothered by his behaviour, but he doesn't disrespect him. Jay who is frustrated is trying to talk sense into Heeseung who's too kind for his own good, but it's not a complete 180 from everyone the second Hee's father insults Jake. It's a difficult line to balance with an unlikable character and you're doing it like a pro. On that note, yet again, this is a re-read thing, but most of the things Heeseung's father says about Jake hit so much harder after seeing the end of chapter 8 and knowing the context behind them. For that same reason, I can't quite applaud Heeseung's brother for trying to "defend" Jake with the comment about being late. It seemed sweet at first, especially combined with his apology to Jake when it doesn't go the intended way, but considering Heeseung's brother most likely knows about everything, the "we’re only anticipated because of Jake" comment just rubs me wrong. There really are so many little hints sprikled in throughout the story and they don't seem out of place, Jake is the Songbird, but what we expected and what we got, it's so much worse.

There are the few little heartwarming details in the drive scene, like Jake working overtime to keep Heeseung's lips in one piece, Jay just being a great friend, the hand holding. But on top of that, yet again, Jake is thinking about the expectations, about the unknown, how he really is just out of the loop on everything. Jake's complete lack of support system over his entire life is sad, but especially so after the marriage. Really, the only person so far who's not holding back with him is Riki, but Riki can't be everywhere and just like you said in my last ask, all of the boys are aware what Jake was bought for, at some level. For the deal, the whole arrangement between the Lees and the Sims, I definitely thought it would be something much more personal at first, but knowing that the deal has been in place for generations makes so much more sense. Jake is definitely the more famous one between him and Heeseung and current time Lees would have little to bargain with in order to get the merger in place if that deal wasn't already there. On one side, it's sweet that they weren't just out for Jake specifically, but the other side is so much worse, knowing that Jake is actually just a bargaining chip for both the families, not just his own.

Lee Jaeyun ruined me, just as oiil's Jake Lee did. Just so you know.

The entire time I was reading this chapter, I was basically holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. And oh boy, did it drop. The conference scene had me tense as hell all throughout and please, know that this is a compliment, it made me sick to my stomach. The blatant way everyone sees Jake as an object is so sad to witness. There's the badge, how he doesn't even get called by his own name. The strange looks, and even before shit hits the fan, all the unwanted touches, it's just awful. This is exactly the epitome of humanity seeing something untouched and needing to get their hands all over it. It's one thing for the "accidental touches" to be due to the crowded space, brushing shoulders with someone and so on, but people touching his lower back, it already made my skin crawl. Between all of this fun stuff, it's sweet to see Jake so dedicated to learn more about the trade, paying so much attention to the speakers and listening carefully so that he knows what Heeseung is passionate about. I genuinely do not know how to feel about Namjoon and Taehyung. It's mostly how the entire conversation with Jake feels so stilted, just very polite, careful. Obviously, this is the first time they've met, so just knowing each other's reputations would make an encounter awkward, but it just feels a little strange. It's a nice scene overall, Jake is excited, he's happy to meet them and obviously, they're happy to meet him too, but yet again, there's the layer of "they know something you don't know", which applies to both Jake and the readers, that adds a certain level of sadness to the whole conversation. Also Namjoon and Taehyung's reactions when Jake jokes about them being his suitors, just ouch.

Lo and behold, we get to The Scene(TM). Jake getting grabbed, knowing the whole story of his relationship with touch, how new it still is, that one act alone sets the whole atmosphere for this scene. The disregard for Jake's personal space, how the man is unwilling to let go of him and feeling him up even though they're in public. The punch in the gut kind of feeling I got when no one looked back at Jake, this scene felt like the climax of Jake being considered an object to the general public. There's been plenty of build-up to it, sometimes subtle, other times very obvious, and this moment, where there's dozens of people witnessing what's happening to Jake, the fact that not one of them other than Heeseung are willing to do anything about it is horrifying, especially with the sudden realization that comes to Jake. I just want to give that boy a warm blanket, some hot chocolate and hover protectively so that he can cry it out in peace. The most painful thing about this scene for me is Heeseung. He comes to Jake's rescue, he punches a guy in the face but maybe it's just me paying too much attention to a relatively small thing, but knowing that he shoves Jake away and lets him fall instead of making sure he's okay first, it hit hard. Then there's Jake who's left on the floor, dishevelled, hurt and confused and literally publically humiliated. Him running away, the only thought being that he needs a private place to throw up so he doesn't make himself look even worse, it's so sad. My chest hurt reading that scene. The part in the garden is just insane. Jake crying, Heeseung wanting to console him, I've been expecting the "Don't touch me" eventually, but knowing that it's coming took none of the impact away. Jake breaking down the second Heeseung obliges broke me too. What's even worse, he craves the comfort he's gotten used to over the past days, he wants to hold onto Heeseung and lean on him, then, on the way to the car, all the way till they're in front of Jake's cottage. He wants the comfort and there's Heeseung who wants to help, defending Jake to the conference guests, it's sweet, so sweet, but oh boy, is it incredibly painful when he admits he knew about everything all along. That whole conversation, the silent confirmation, knowing how much worse things could've been if Heeseung didn't join the negotiations (although for now, that's just the readers pov), Jake calling himself a whore. And how true it is that no matter how that situation was handled, there was no way to do it without some kind of fallout, some kind of trust breaking. Oh my boys, I can't wait for you two to be happy together, but there's so much work before that. Jake crying himself to sleep is a slap in the face kind of ending to the chapter and I couldn't imagine a better one for this situation. (Am I a sadistic evil being when this and the ending of ch. 3 of oiil were some of my favourite parts of your fics-)

This is way too long already, but I've been thinking about your Heeseung a lot lately and how incredibly well characterized he is. He's kind, sweet and caring and has a massive hero/self-sacrificial complex that seems to ruin his life on every turn. It's interesting to see how split he is between what he wants, his own desires and the need to do what is "good for everybody". It's Heeseung in oiil ready to give up his own happiness and trample all over his feelings for Jake when Sunghoon shows up, it's Heeseung in But no one's supposed to, where he fucks up massively and instead of having a proper conversation with Jake that highlights both his own fears and his concerns for Jake, he just runs away and proceeds to make peace with Jake never coming back to him. Heeseung in Take me inside, too wrapped up in the notion that no one can truly love him, so he just decides to run and bear the pain of his emotions, of his potential hunger, scared that Jake could "end up" like Sunoo. Santa Baby Hee, who is so in love with Jake (and in my opinion with Riki too) that he's willing to let them both go rather than see either of them hurt? And oh, I can't wait for the eventual confrontation in omfbt, because Heejake there are literally a five course angst meal. I just love your Heeseung, the man who is consistently willing to die for his lover, but is also too wrapped up in a strange kind of self-loathing to see that he's loved back the exact same way. Jake telling him he'd choose him again if he could only for Heeseung to not believe him, how he'll defend everybody around him because they have their reasons to be mad, but he won't stand for a single mistake on his own part. Forever bearing all the bad things and sheltering Jake from everything that could hurt him to keep him safe and happy while he's suffering in the background. I just can't wait for the moment it gets through his thick ass skull that he's loved and appreciated and that he deserves to be sad and angry, but that he can lean on others too. My thoughts are honestly incomprehensible at this point, but I just thought you should know that your Heeseung is so precious to me? Even if he's a complete idiot at times. Just for that, I'll be re-reading omfbt in the upcoming days, I miss that Hee. And the bomb-drop of a confession in chapter 7.

I feel rather unhinged during these rants (why are they getting longer, dear god-), but I need you to know that I appreciate you so much, Kas. Your fics give me something to look forward to, whether it's the weekly updates for July Flame or just the knowledge that something new is on the horizon, even if there isn't a specific release date. Your writing makes me so happy and I haven't been disappointed once, with any of your works I've read so far. So I hope you don't mind me just spilling out the entire contents of my brain here once in a while, but I'm just really happy you're here. I'm sorry you haven't been doing all that great lately, I sincerely hope that turns around asap, but until it does, just know that I'm cheering for you from my little ask box here <3
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