a howdy dowdy stranger · 9mo
hiii it's stella again here!! take your time to answer, don't worry ^^ i also did take like a week to send another ask? idk i haven't been using twitter that much so i didn't see it before kdjskdks hope you're doing alright, tho!
hmm about those headaches, i thought that maybe these could be someone trying to switch, but since our communication isn't good i'm never sure about it. i've been trying some grounding techniques when these happen and it's been helpful at least! oh, i haven't told anyone about my plurality, yet. i feel like i should tell my gf tho, i'm sure she'll do her best to understand and help me but it still makes me anxious talking about this possibility with someone, and i fear i'll find out i'm wrong about myself at some point. even tho i'm realizing we probably have more alters than i thought at first, we communicate sometimes, they ask me to do stuff for them that i usually wouldn't really even think about doing and all that, so it wouldn't make that much sense for me to just.... be faking it without noticing? idk. tho in a lighter note it's kinda funny to me how at first i asked you if a system could have only 2, maybe 3 alters and we're probably at 6 now kdjsksjs but well, thank you! i'll try out what you mentioned later if/when i tell someone about it!
ohh that makes sense dksjskdjd i've seen a lot of people mention cities or big houses in their headspaces so having basically a small black & white (mostly white) room is kind of funny to me, but yeah, makes sense, it's more of a visualization tool right? ALSO omg yeah not being able to access it must be SO ODD kdjdkdjd i mean, i haven't in a while but i just didn't feel like it, i didn't like. try and get denied or something dkejdkrjsksj hope it doesn't happen to you again !!!!
and the milgram fandom, YES!! some people for some reason can't just be honest and say they haven't engaged with a character that much, and that leads to so many mischaracterization and odd discussions in the community. i haven't engaged that much with a lot of characters tbh, i have my favorites, but if i talk about any of the ones i engaged less with i won't act so sure about what i'm talking about and will try to listen to those that HAVE engaged more deeply with said character. it's not hard, idk why so many people act as if they know everything about everyone.
and you don't have to thank me for my patience! i like sending these and reading your answers, and i don't want you to feel pressured about it so yeah just take your time, do your thing, answer when and if you feel like it, it's all good! i'm already thankful you are so nice while answering me ^^ and sorry i always tend to talk too much ldjskdjsksk
HI HI welcome back to the inbox!! gkdkgjd
i think if you trust your girlfriend then that'd absolutely be a good person to ask! and honestly, the doubt that you're somehow wrong or faking it never really goes away? it's become less and less for us, namely as we interact with other systems and see how their experiences line up with ours, because we'd never fakeclaim them so.... if we're experiencing stuff that's similar to or even the exact same as them (and even when we aren't, makes sense to us based on what we have) then yeah! makes sense we're a system. it also helps we've been switching a lot more these days. we only ever really doubt we're a system when it's me (mikk) in front bc of how long I just lived singlet mode. but it's honestly hilarious when I front after not being here for literally 2 weeks straight because others were and I go "oh my god.... I'm a singlet...... I'm cured...... or was I faking the whole time.....?" like calm down your ass will be gone from front in 5 hours because some gay bitch wants to talk to their boyfriend smh /lhj
but I think honestly you should just tell your girlfriend that as well. just say "I'm exploring this part of myself and this is how I'm understanding it. I'm afraid of being wrong one day and that doesn't mean you should doubt me, in fact that'll make it worse if you do, but I just need assurance that if I do end up wrong, you won't hold it against me. help me discover and explore and understand myself without judgement or expectation and let me be wrong." or something like that.
AND YEAH it's totally possible to have only 2-3 alters like truly any amount is possible. but I'm not surprised you have more by any means either. early system discovery you're always like ah well there's only 2-5 people in here that's manageable! and then a year later you've got your head in your hands because how are there 20 of them. and how come none of them remember to check the mail. or maybe that's just me.
and headspaces constantly change too!! ours got bigger with more people and outright changed totally in august last year because nerve needed access to clearer visualisation for communication purposes. nobody had before then, it just changed as it needed to! and now it expands a little with each new person because they add their own thing to it. or expands a lot if they want to add an entire fucking beach.
AND YEAH god I wish the milgram fandom was better. Alas. The Internet.
AND IK but your patience is still appreciated anyway!! I've had friends be hounded for responses and that hasn't happened for us yet (beyond someone asking twice if we're a NEET? lmao) so I'm just glad! if someone was pushy we'd just say "no lol" and block tho tbh so. DW ABT TALKING TOO MUCH EITHER!! it's always nice to get asks from you!
