oh we interpreted the wording of that question to be "is it possible for an alter to talk to you without revealing the part of the system they're from" oops! which yeah of course it would be. and that's what we were saying had never happened to us! like I don't think we've ever had someone from a different layer speak to us and not reveal that that layer exists. but layers for us are also temporary and tend to fuse? I don't know I just work here these are made up words.

BUT no we did have instances of members talking to me before I realised I was a system. it was always difficult/impossible to differentiate them from my own internal dialogue and sometimes still is so! didn't work it out until one of them was very aggressively disagreeing and even identifying differently during a period of trauma and stress.

OH this is a super interesting question and like. dreams have always been crazy for me even before I was a system (like both as a kid and before I was aware) so my experiences probably aren't at all similar to other systems at all. but I wanna talk about it anyway so!

for me, I've rarely ever been "myself" when I dream. and this can take the form of either being someone non-specific or being a character or person that is explicitly not me. I've had dreams where I'm a cis guy or cis girl or even a trans woman a few times and very rarely are my dreams connected to actual things happening in my life. when they are then I'm usually more myself! but a lot of the time it's a plot from a movie or a game or something. and we share memories so we all remember these dreams when we wake up, and our dreams are as vivid as memories (which leads to some disorientation, but our memories aren't clear anyway so we never mistake dreams for reality when we're awake. it's more so a problem for the rare times we have a dream that makes sense and is congruent with reality because we can be genuinely unsure if it was a memory or dream. and we can read in our dreams too? so usually it's just something nonsensical happening that proves to us it wasn't real).

since properly opening up as a system and letting others front more though we've had dreams where we've been specific members! there was one dream I know where we were louie and another where we were hale, and the hale one was particularly weird because he dreamed about walking with another system member? and feeling that person present as separate from himself is like. it was a really nice part of the dream but so strange.

headspace wise we honestly don't really like exist in the headspace the way I think a lot of systems view themselves as doing. we rarely have memories of being in the headspace, it's just a visualisation tool for us. so like I wouldn't say anyone ever leaves the headspace even when dreaming and that we just stay there if we don't? if we don't we don't, there's just sort of nothing. and I don't think we've ever been inside the headspace during dreams either, but I know of systems who frequently do! it depends on the system I guess!!

but yeah dreams have always been weird as shit for me and I probably have a sleep disorder but I have work tomorrow (not actually) so I can't think about that rn.

oh yeah but some people. even if they weren't the "person" in the dream? feel more connected to it when we wake up. like we had a nightmare once that clearly wasn't nerve but he was the one freaked out about it yeah. this is a rambly answer and if it doesn't make sense to you yeah me neither anon!!

hi hi! for starters your parents are kinda dumb for that, you can definitely be a high achiever and autistic? it's literally one of the autism stereotypes that we're super good academically, and even if that stereotype is often suuuuper disconnected from reality, the point is that bad at academics ≠ autistic. autistic people can be good or bad at school! it depends on the individual and the school honestly.

I'm not entirely sure how to help with this admittedly because I was diagnosed when I was 11 and never had to go through any sort of discovery journey with autism specifically. I think it's probably like researching any disorder though! read up about it online, both from more professional academic sources and first hand accounts because frankly, both are biased in different ways and you'll end up finding the reality of the disorder to be somewhere between the two. psychiatric resources are often written by people without lived experience and can be detached and not account for super common experiences, while accounts from the community can go unchecked and end up spreading misinformation that has no basis beyond "yeah that sounds right to me" and may even actually be describing a comorbidity (most commonly CPTSD in my experience) instead of autism itself.

though I will say, I advise against rushing into getting specifically a diagnosis for autism. seeing someone who you can talk to about it and get their opinion (like a counsellor) is good absolutely, but in many places, an autism diagnosis can outright bar you from access to certain things and lead to you being oppressed. you should ONLY pursue a formal diagnosis for autism if you need access to the real world accommodation that comes with it! self-diagnosing or simply being recognised as likely autistic by a therapist is frankly enough in terms of if I think you can call yourself autistic and be welcomed into the community. the emphasis on needing professional diagnosis is outright dangerous, so please take into consideration if it's something you need (for school for example) before pursuing that. I was "diagnosed" when I was 11 but the papers weren't properly put through for 10 years because I didn't need access to any accommodations as a kid (like speech therapy and such) and I think that ended up being a good way to go about things. also here at least it is SOOOO insanely expensive to be diagnosed my god.

tl;dr: do research the same way you would any disorder! by talking to autistics and by looking into more objective academic sources. don't rush into explicitly a diagnosis because it can be dangerous, do so only if it benefits you. aim instead to talk to a professional about your traits and see their opinion/be recognised by them! a good therapist will probably understand why an outright diagnosis isn't something you might want, so.

DW ABOUT BEING IN OUR INBOX it is open for a reason!!

honestly if you don't think you'll be able to find a therapist that's system friendly, my honest advice is to just keep that topic out of therapy altogether. therapy CAN be super helpful but a lot of aggressively pro-therapy stances online fail to account for the fact that therapists and the field of psychiatry as a whole can be extremely ableist and actively do damage to the people they claim to help. oftentimes for groups oppressed on the axis of mental health/neurodivergence it's community that ends up being more helpful or even life saving! it has its pros and cons because yeah of course people going through the same stuff as you are going to have better understanding and provide better support. but finding a network of people who are able to support one another in a healthy balanced way, when they're all innately people who likely struggle with mental health by virtue of the very community they're in, can be messy and damaging as well. at least it uhhh doesn't cost money and can't lead to someone institutionalising you! so.

BUT I'm really glad our account could be that!! I think that's a really good example of community and the good it can do honestly. because while our experiences both informed you that your "normal" isn't at all the standard singlet experience, it likewise let you know that your "normal" is the same "normal" we have! and that you aren't alone. :]

I'm glad you've got communication with them now!! and I hope everything is going well and that you're safe and on the path to being happier and healthier. much much love!!! 🧡🧡🧡

this is really sweet!!! thank you anon. I thiiiiink it's maybe been said a few times but the main reason we're really happy to do all that is because of how alone we were when figuring out we were a system. we had one close friend who was also sort of flying by the seat of their pants and had another system telling us not to explore anything and yeah. ended up suppressing stuff for a long time and it led to a lot of doubt! so I'm very glad we can be for other people what we always wished someone was for us.

it's completely understandable if you're too nervous to ask!! but yeah I promise we don't bite. people only answer if they want to which means they always answer trying to be kind! but still, no pressure, and im glad our answers to others is affirming to you as well! :]

HI HI welcome back to the inbox!! gkdkgjd

i think if you trust your girlfriend then that'd absolutely be a good person to ask! and honestly, the doubt that you're somehow wrong or faking it never really goes away? it's become less and less for us, namely as we interact with other systems and see how their experiences line up with ours, because we'd never fakeclaim them so.... if we're experiencing stuff that's similar to or even the exact same as them (and even when we aren't, makes sense to us based on what we have) then yeah! makes sense we're a system. it also helps we've been switching a lot more these days. we only ever really doubt we're a system when it's me (mikk) in front bc of how long I just lived singlet mode. but it's honestly hilarious when I front after not being here for literally 2 weeks straight because others were and I go "oh my god.... I'm a singlet...... I'm cured...... or was I faking the whole time.....?" like calm down your ass will be gone from front in 5 hours because some gay bitch wants to talk to their boyfriend smh /lhj

but I think honestly you should just tell your girlfriend that as well. just say "I'm exploring this part of myself and this is how I'm understanding it. I'm afraid of being wrong one day and that doesn't mean you should doubt me, in fact that'll make it worse if you do, but I just need assurance that if I do end up wrong, you won't hold it against me. help me discover and explore and understand myself without judgement or expectation and let me be wrong." or something like that.

AND YEAH it's totally possible to have only 2-3 alters like truly any amount is possible. but I'm not surprised you have more by any means either. early system discovery you're always like ah well there's only 2-5 people in here that's manageable! and then a year later you've got your head in your hands because how are there 20 of them. and how come none of them remember to check the mail. or maybe that's just me.

and headspaces constantly change too!! ours got bigger with more people and outright changed totally in august last year because nerve needed access to clearer visualisation for communication purposes. nobody had before then, it just changed as it needed to! and now it expands a little with each new person because they add their own thing to it. or expands a lot if they want to add an entire fucking beach.

AND YEAH god I wish the milgram fandom was better. Alas. The Internet.

AND IK but your patience is still appreciated anyway!! I've had friends be hounded for responses and that hasn't happened for us yet (beyond someone asking twice if we're a NEET? lmao) so I'm just glad! if someone was pushy we'd just say "no lol" and block tho tbh so. DW ABT TALKING TOO MUCH EITHER!! it's always nice to get asks from you!