Ah, so you play Genshin Impact, huh? You’re one of those freaky little gamers, aren’t you? Sitting there, farming primogems for your waifus or husbandos, spending hours grinding artifacts, trying to get that sweet 5-star weapon pull. Oh, you probably already have Hu Tao at C6 with her Staff of Homa, don’t you? Yeah, you do, you freak. I bet you run around Liyue just to hear Zhongli’s voice lines because you think that “Osmanthus wine” line is deep or something.

You’re not satisfied with just one 5-star, though, are you? No, you need your Raiden Shogun maxed out too. I bet you’ve got a whole team of meta slaves and can’t resist flaunting your damage numbers in co-op. And don’t get me started on how you try to solo bosses like Azhdaha just to prove something to your Discord friends. You spend so much time in Teyvat that you probably think you’re an honorary Knight of Favonius, don’t you? Don’t lie—I know you do. You probably even learned how to say "thank you for the food" in Japanese because of this game, didn’t you, you absolute freak?

But it’s not just about the gameplay, is it? Oh no, you’ve got folders full of fan art—don’t think I don’t know about it. I bet you watch those “Archon quest analysis” videos at 2 a.m., pretending to care about the lore when really, you’re just waiting for the next Rosaria skin to drop. Yeah, you’re a freak, and you love every second of it. So go ahead, log back in, claim your dailies, and try to pretend you’re not a freaky little Genshin addict.