to be honest, i have a plenty. and i am in a state where i harbour a low self-esteem due to things i cannot openly mention in public. i am not confident about myself, i don’t find myself attractive, i am broken and i have traumas that might take a lot of effort to be resolved.

yet if you are asking for the ‘biggest’ one, i’d say that i think i’m not able to make people stay with me for a long time. i always try to give my all, especially in terms of love and relationship. however, i tend to not receive as much as i give to my partner. it leaves me questioning whether my efforts were enough, where it all went wrong, and how can i fix everything.

i desire to feel loved: cherished, adored and appreciated. to bask in the warmth of security; intertwining my fingers with someone who loves me most. someone who wouldn’t hesitate to give me the world if i asked them to. someone who feels familiar, someone who feels like home.

yet, i am not sure if someone like that exists.