List of embarrassments from that night:

• Fyodor got tipsy from one glass. He tried to stand up too quickly, wobbled and fell into Nikolai's lap. That's how foreplay started. By foreplay I mean bottling up, sappy flirting and making out/petting in between the shots

• They're both blabbering nonsense. At one point Fyodor got super cuddly. He giggled and told Nikolai that if he were couple centuries younger and still capable of love he would have loved him silly that he is. As if that weren't bad enough Fyodor admitted to finding Nikolai's jests funny deep down

• Tipsy Nikolai got the idea of using empty bottle as a sex toy. It nearly got stuck

• After hours of drinking Nikolai got hammered too. Coordination went to shit. He lifted Fyodor and tried to carry him to the bed but they fell down, thrice

• It took him 5 minutes to locate Fyodor's hole (he kept shoving into sheets). Then it took him 30 minutes to get Fyodor to finish, that's how bad he was

• They both need to piss every 15 mins. Unsexiest sex ever

• Oral ended in accidental biting

• Nikolai rammed that deep in Fyodor got sick and began gagging. He barely made it to the bathroom. They made a mistake of kissing afterwards and nearly puked again

• Room was spinning too much, Fyodor couldn't lay down any longer. He insisted on riding. Unfortunately Fyodor's coordination also went to hell so whenever he bounced too high he didn't navigate down quite well. He regularly ended up hitting tip of Nikolai's dick with his bony hips. It hurt like hell

• At one point Fyodor wanted to top. Sure, go ahead. He couldn't find the hole either. Fyodor spent 15 mins thrusting between Nikolai's thick ass cheeks and thighs

• Fyodor ended up cumming every 10 mins. He was drained, thus drank more. Nikolai couldn't cum at all. He broke the bed frame out of frustration. Also drank to cope. He eventually came a whole bucket and fainted. Fyodor slapped him awake. He wanted more.

• Nikolai got emotional afterwards. He blabbed his entire life story, all his woes and conundrums. They were all sticky and sweaty but that didn't stop Nikolai from being over the top clingy. He even teared up at one point

Much to their dismay they both remembered everything the morning after (or should I say afternoon after). Without saying a word they dressed up and parted. Unspoken agreement is to pretend that night has never happened