hi not cringy at all! you actually nailed their dynamic and i agree with everything you said here. especially the "consciously, they hate. subconsciously, they care" yeah. yeah yeah yeah. to me in the novel fengqing have a lot of animosity and i do actually think they resent each other a lot, particularly on feng xin's part it's very obvious (he holds a very strong grudge against mq for leaving) and for mu qing its the entire undercurrent of how feng xin has always treated him as lesser. tbh, in canon, everything feng xin says to mu Qing has been extremely cruel up till the bridge scene. but then its so sad because in the end they dont want each other to die, and they are the ones who know each others best after being together for so many years.... (as u said the shadow + the fighting being in sync) and in a sense they are the only ones who can match each other in this way. theyre the only ones who know each other this well precisely bc theyve spent so many centuries trying to get under each others' skin, seen past each other's best and worst.... :( in the end no matter how much they hate each other, you cant deny that theyve also been at each others side for 800 years :( and the care leaks through the cracks of their "conscious" exteriors with mu qing trying to save feng xin from the fire + feng xin saving mu qing from the lava (i like to think mu qing was so frantic and worried while saving feng xin from fire + that there on the bridge was the moment feng xin was struck with the terrifying realization like 'oh. i dont actually want mu qing to die. i dont—i dont actually want to hurt mu qing at all. at least, not anymore. oh shit.') they give me brainworms. "ugh ew" is the correct descriptor. i hate them!!!!!! (affectionate)