HIII THANK U RURU OMG sorry this is so late i hadnt formed like a coherent thought in ages so i was struggling to articulate myself lolll but yes definitely grief is such an important theme for haikaveh for me i think its also rly interesting that for haitham his parents died really early on so its like grieving something you never truly touched vs. kaveh whos grieving his very much tangible memories of his parents. but haitham also has the grief @ his grandmother ofc.
i feel like haitham... he just learned to somehow endure the grief through clenched teeth... years of rattling and violent shaking until ultimately peace.... and now he deals with it pretty healthily. but with kveh his grief shapes him jnto thinking he needs to earn things to deserve them !! because he wasnt good so his parents were taken away...

hi not cringy at all! you actually nailed their dynamic and i agree with everything you said here. especially the "consciously, they hate. subconsciously, they care" yeah. yeah yeah yeah. to me in the novel fengqing have a lot of animosity and i do actually think they resent each other a lot, particularly on feng xin's part it's very obvious (he holds a very strong grudge against mq for leaving) and for mu qing its the entire undercurrent of how feng xin has always treated him as lesser. tbh, in canon, everything feng xin says to mu Qing has been extremely cruel up till the bridge scene. but then its so sad because in the end they dont want each other to die, and they are the ones who know each others best after being together for so many years.... (as u said the shadow + the fighting being in sync) and in a sense they are the only ones who can match each other in this way. theyre the only ones who know each other this well precisely bc theyve spent so many centuries trying to get under each others' skin, seen past each other's best and worst.... :( in the end no matter how much they hate each other, you cant deny that theyve also been at each others side for 800 years :( and the care leaks through the cracks of their "conscious" exteriors with mu qing trying to save feng xin from the fire + feng xin saving mu qing from the lava (i like to think mu qing was so frantic and worried while saving feng xin from fire + that there on the bridge was the moment feng xin was struck with the terrifying realization like 'oh. i dont actually want mu qing to die. i dont—i dont actually want to hurt mu qing at all. at least, not anymore. oh shit.') they give me brainworms. "ugh ew" is the correct descriptor. i hate them!!!!!! (affectionate)

hi i rawdog my degree crying and screaming so idk how useful my tips will be but i think try not to skip classes/lectures and if u do, try to catch up asap with the lecture notes or recordings, do more practice questions & past exam papers if ur uni/school has that, consolidate ur understanding & knowledge regularly over the year, when revising in exam season prioritize understanding the core concepts (and the math skills) rly well first and then do it in detail, a lot of details can usully be derived from the core concepts anyway (like if i cant remember all the forumlae i remember the most important and the others can be derived.) dimensional analysis also helps w getting the form of equations right

omgomg let me think. so like i think he’d try his best to be honest for integrity reasons since i think he does value that, in terms of transparency in work and stuff, honest with his clients about every step in his commission etc. and with friends (or haitham) when it comes to matters that do not touch the things that he feels wounded by. like if he’s speaking about everyday events like idk what he did in a day or his opinion on a building or a concept, things like that, he’d be pretty honest

BUT when it does come to the things that he keeps buried inside himself i think he’s a very good liar who even lies to himself so much that he’s almost gaslighting himself. whether that be an actual vocal lie or him omitting the truth/circumventing it in crafty ways. he’d lie about how much he takes care of himself to his friends like if someone asks if he’s eaten he’d say yes even if he hasnt, or play down the number of bottles he’s drank during one night, etc. he’d also lie about being okay / not needing help bc guilt / his inability to ask for undeserved help. pre-reconciliation he lied about not living with haitham (or at least hid the truth) because it makes him feel guilty + humiliated too. he wouldnt really be honest about his feelings (but theres an inconsistency because i think he’d be fine showing how angry he is at a client if they disrespect his craft but he would be not fine showing his self doubt or grief, stuff like that)

with haitham specifically he probably lies the most (pre-reconciliation also) because he just . yeah. thinks haitham disdains him (False) . and he even lies to himsefl about haitham disdaining him becuase
i think deep down he can see the acts of kindness haitham’s offering but because he doesnt know how to face haitham if he were to accept the fact that he really is doing them out of his heart and not for the sake of receiving benefits in return, he’d rather make himself believe that haithams doing it out of derision and turn it into a whole transactional thing. probably the biggest lie hes ever woven in his life and its so seamless that it almost becomes the truth to his mind. & then everything else haitham does gets twisted to feed this fallacy so its just this Giant Web of fabricated lie

ie he’d be honest about impersonal topics or opinions he feels strongly about (like beauty art creation science integrating into design etc) but an extremely good liar about the deeper personal things