a work of art · 2mo
Thomas paid a visit to the headquarters earlier this week to hand your letter, saying you were too busy to do it yourself. My heart was beating like crazy as if I ran a thousand miles as I remained rooted in place, taking the letter from Thomas with an expression on my face I, myself, cannot describe. I was in utter disbelief that you wrote an answer to my letter and Thomas even said you didn’t waste time and immediately started writing a response, which flooded relief in my chest. I decided not to open the letter until I got home later that day and it was the best decision because I was bawling my eyes out as I read every word in your letter.
It felt like something stabbed my heart a hundred times, no—more like a million times, as I read every paragraph and my chest felt so heavy after I read all the contents in the said letter. It hurts to think that even if I was gone for a whole month, you were there, still waiting for me. It hurts to think that you were questioning yourself if I still want you in my life. It hurts to think that I am the one who caused you such agony. But fear not, my beloved Rafayel, for I am here now and I will spend every waking moment of my day to spend with you. I will cherish you for as long as I breathe, I will love you for as long as I can, and I will stay with you until the end of time, because even if you fear that my heart will stop remembering you again, always know that every beat it takes only knows one name and that is “Rafayel”.
I hope we can talk in person again soon because I want to make it up to you for the days I was away. I missed seeing you, I missed hearing your tantrums and silly little whims, I missed hearing your voice, I missed holding your face in my hands and staring at your face until your ears get red, I missed catching you off guard when I kiss you without warning, I missed holding your hand as we walk along the shore, I missed sleeping next to you and hearing your soft, shallow breaths as soon as you fall asleep and most importantly, I missed waking up next to you with you already staring at me and smiling with that same fondness you always have for me. I missed you, my Rafayel.
hello, my beloved.
five days… it has been five days, and I didn’t even notice how quickly time passed. I was waiting for your letter, but nothing came. perhaps Thomas kept it from me again, trying not to disturb or distract me, unaware that your words would have been the perfect source of inspiration while I worked.
I can vividly picture your expression when Thomas handed you my letter—how your heart must have raced, caught between disbelief and relief. it brought a smile to my face, imagining you standing there, holding my letter close to you, waiting until you were home to open it. I wish I could have been there to see that moment, to witness how my simple words moved you. but, hearing how deeply it affected you brings me a sense of sorrow too, knowing that I caused you any pain. even if unintentional, it weighs on me.
I understand why you felt that way, love. I was lost in my thoughts while waiting, asking myself if you still wanted me in your life, afraid that maybe, maybe I had become a mere shadow in your mind after being apart for so long. but, hearing you say that you’ll cherish me, love me, and stay with me until the end of time—that calmed the storm inside me.
I missed you too. I missed how you effortlessly fill my world with warmth, how your presence alone brightens everything. I missed the sound of your laughter, the way your touch melts away the tension I didn’t even realize I was carrying. it’s the little moments I long for—the ones that make us, us.
my studio felt dull—empty without you. the canvases seemed colder, the colors seems lifeless. every brushstroke I tried to make felt incomplete, as if it were missing the light that you bring. it’s as though the colors refuse to blend properly, and the shapes I create don’t tell the story I want them to. it's not the same without you here beside me, my love. it’s as if my hands... they've forgotten how to paint.
I wonder, would you still recognize me now after these days apart? not in the way I look, but in how I’ve become without you near. maybe that’s why I’ve struggled—because I’ve lost the piece of myself that comes alive only when you’re here. I need you, miss bodyguard, I need you here, with me. I need you in ways I didn't even realize before. so, my love, come back to me soon, please? I will be waiting for you, my arms ready to hold you once again. my heart is yours, always has been.
