tell me. should I be a good, honest boy? or should I play hard to get?
512
a work of art · 4h
Hi! So, dayum, Rafayel is getting bolder and bolder each day... And I'm loving it.
summersolstice · 6h
do you fw pyramid head❤️
a work of art · 3d
hmm... a moth you say? but, darling, i've seen how you struggled and fought your way through life. from being a cocoon, a mere worm, to becoming a creature that sores over the skies, flapping its wings and surfing the winds. you've always been in the shadows of doubt... i found you there. despite your criticism about yourself, i still find you admirable.
a creature drawn to the light that promises warmth? a creature drawn to the warmth of others? isn't that all of us, my love? a being who is warmed and recharged by the warmth of another - longing for comfort in one's own presence? you've struggled and fought your way through life, surviving every gust of wind. every flap, every uncertain path, every hardship you've went through... this... this makes you special.
a butterfly is also fragile, a mere creature that dare fly in the flower fields - wanting to be part of the beautiful scenery. a creature who is frequently regarded as graceful and flawed. who said you didn't fit the description? ABSURD! they struggle, surviving every second they're alive, and just like them - you flew with grace. my love, who told you you weren't beautiful? your colors may change, turning to it's darkest shades - they might even fade - but that's what i find admirable. the changes you've shown me, the "imperfections" you have, everything about you - it's all admirable. i love you for who you are, my love. despite the struggles and uncertainties, you've fluttered your wings and sore the skies, traveling from a place to another. you've shown me how strong of a butterfly you are. so, yes, i still find you pretty - the pretties butterfly i've ever laid eyes on.
you’re flattering me a bit too much now that I’m starting to become speechless… but I guess that’s your intention, isn’t it?
your words, they never failed to warm my heart, my sweet angel. I can’t help but to feel wrapped in the warmth of your perspective, even if it’s hard for me to fully embrace it. it’s like you’re seeing me through a lens I struggle to understand.
the way you see me—flawed yet still admired, makes me feel like I don’t need to strive for any perfect image. maybe I have wandered, and maybe my wings have wavered, but somehow, you always make it seem like it’s all part of my journey, part of what makes me… me.
so, if you still find beauty in me, I won’t argue with you anymore. instead, I’ll thank you for seeing me in what I often can’t, and for believing in me—fragile wings and all.
a work of art · 19d
you're a butterfly, aren't you?
people who stare and look, awestruck by your beauty. attentions caught while you fly and glide through. they stop and stare, admiring your beautiful colors. you stretch your wings as you fly through the air. as you hover, your wings sparkle and shine brightly. you're a gorgeous creature, my love. oh, but, you're blinded. you can't see how beautiful your wings are. you can't see how your wings turn heads as you fly by. oh, my darling, you don't realize how gorgeous you are. all your colors symbolize you, vibrant and bright. the flutter of your wings, the colors of your wings, you, my love. you. your being. you're one of the most wonderful and breathtaking creatures ever created.
wow, you’ve truly mastered the art of compliments, haven’t you? it's touching to be seen like this, and I appreciate the admiration you've expressed. however, I must disagree with you. I’m nothing like a butterfly, my sweet, sweet angel. as you've said, a butterfly glides smoothly through the air, its wings sparkling and shining brightly, captivating the world with its fleeting beauty. it moves with a grace and fluidity that seems almost ethereal. yet, what you see is only a portion of it. you see the colors and intricate patterns, but not the way how I struggle against the wind, fighting to stay aloft amidst the gusts that threaten to ground me. the beauty you see and admire—the vibrant and bright colors—fades, occasionally hidden beneath the shadows of doubt.
I may seem bright at times, but there’s a weight I carry—a struggle that isn’t always visible. you see, I don’t glide through life smoothly and with ease. my colors sometimes fade, revealing how dark my true colors can be. I stumble, I falter, and some days, even flying feels impossible. while butterflies are admired for their beauty and grace, I don't resonate with that description, nor do I fit it. you see the light and beauty in me, and I love you for that, but perhaps I’m more like a moth—delicate and easily swayed, drawn to the warmth of others and to the flickering lights that promise warmth but can lead me astray. I carry a subtle charm and resilience, though it may not always be apparent. sensitive and difficult to understand, and sometimes lacks strength and can be easily hurt or overwhelmed by challenges or criticism. I’m just as fragile and imperfect as anyone else, my love. so, now, do you still find me pretty?
summersolstice · 1 answer · 18d
hi kai!! I remember I told you that I won’t get tired of telling you that you’re doing well already, and unfortunately I forgot due to my mind getting caught up with my final exam and research. just had the time to finally write this to you (also I’m sorry for unfriending you last time, it was impulsive) again, I do hope you’re doing well. I’m wondering about what you’re doing right now, and I honestly hope that you’re doing well. and no matter how hard things could get, I hope you would always remember how there are many people around you right now, and all of us are rooting for you at the very end. I wish for your emotional, and physical well being, and that you would stop overworking yourself to the point that you end up being drained. I told you many many times and I’ll tell you again (you might think I’m annoying) taking a break over things is necessary! and I’m aware that you know about this! so yep! good luck tomorrow and the day after, then the day after that and the next next days! I’ll come again when I finish my two day finals!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
thank you, Alexis! you never fail to make me smile. reading this after taking my major exams eased my doubts inside of me and gave me an assurance that I did well and I did my utmost best during those moments. I’m grateful for your support and encouragement; it means a lot during times like these.
a work of art · 15d
rafaaa did you know in the making na animated series adaptation ng twilight hshshs good morning !!
a work of art · 19d
Hello, Rafayel. I've been made aware of the notice you recently just made—of you inviting people to write to you. I am writing while halfway through a bagel, wondering if I will even be known. But that matters little, no? And in any case, I am easily recognizable. By you, at least I am.
Akso has been busy. The reentering of the -ber months have always guaranteed the onslaught of patients, outpatient or otherwise. Recently, I've handled a case that's particularly worrying, as it looks commonplace to people with the same lifestyle as you. Maybe swing by me when you have the time? Or we can arrange a casual appointment—an outing of sorts.
(I'll do my best to make it casual, so the questions are more or less made in passing thought. If I do detect something serious, though, expect me to do something about it.)
Do well, Rafayel. And always take care.
the image of you, thoughtfully engaged with a bagel and a pen, made me smile as I imagined how you look in that state. I like how you confidently say that you’re easily recognizable to me because it’s true—you absolutely are. how could it be otherwise? I’m also glad to know you’re eating a bagel instead of sweets, though knowing you, there’s probably some clever reasoning behind the choice. she probably scolded you again, didn’t she? I can already picture her with her hands on her hips, giving you that gentle, yet firm, lecture. 😆
it sounds like things have been hectic for you with the return of the -ber months. I can only imagine the stress that comes with handling such a flood of patients. but, it’s comforting and assuring to know that someone as dedicated as you is there for them. while you're busy being thoughtful and taking care of others, I hope you’re also taking a moment for yourself.
as for your offer of a casual appointment, how could I possibly resist? let’s definitely find a time to meet. I’ll do my best to drop any formalities, though I suspect you’ll see right through me if I don’t. it’s a relief to know you’re looking out for me, even if it means sneaking in some casual questions during our meeting. I promise to answer honestly—at least as much as I can get away with. after all, I’m talking to the best doctor Linkon has ever had.
let’s make this meeting happen soon, shall we? it’s been too long since we’ve had a proper catch-up, and I’m eager to hear all the things you didn’t get a chance to write down in your letter. until then, take care of yourself, and don’t let those -ber months get the best of you. the world needs you at your best, after all, Doc.
a work of art · 20d
rafa
yes, anon? hello! what? I’m okay and doing good! my favorite color (or shade) is black! I like sleeping—sleeping is love. I also love cooking! my top three love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, and giving gifts—wait, what am I even rambling about? you just said my name. 😅
a work of art · 20d
The past seven days were dreadful without catching a glimpse of your face or the sound of your voice. I was sent out on a mission again and was bombarded with tons of workload that I didn’t get to reply to your letters. Before I got off work this morning, Captain Jenna handed me numerous letters that were all addressed to me and the sender? Anonymous. Do you think I won’t be able to recognize that they all came from you?
I’ve read every single letter you sent me and all I could remember was you telling me how much you missed me and your dramatic antics about waning away if I don’t respond or show up in your studio. It made me smile how you were also telling me about your day and how you can finally see the light because you’re slowly getting the right shade of blue but not quite right. You still think there’s something lacking. I know you’ll do well, my adorable Rafayel. Just hang in there okay? Miss Bodyguard is rooting for you.
I’m planning to pay you a visit later this evening, I just had to run some errands so please anticipate my arrival and give me the warmest hug. I’ve missed you too, my adorable Rafayel.
my beloved, you have finally responded! I've been so worried about you. I can't express how relieved I was when I finally heard from you. this is the first time you haven’t replied to my letters for so long—six whole days. I tried to tell myself that the mission was just too tough and that you didn’t have time to respond, which I completely understand. but, a part of me couldn't stop worrying that something had happened to you. that’s why I kept sending letters, even though I hadn't heard back from you. I hope they didn’t overwhelm you—I just couldn’t bear the thought of you being out there, facing who knows what, without knowing how you were doing.
that must have been exhausting, my love. being a hunter is not a simple job, and Linkon City is incredibly lucky to have you guys protecting it. my heart ached reading about how terrible the last seven days have been for you. I should have known, and I apologize if my letters added to your burden. it was the only way I could feel connected to you during those lengthy periods of quietness and loneliness.
I hope Captain Jenna hasn’t been pushing you too hard. please, promise me that you’ll take care of yourself. if there’s anything I can do—whether it’s listening to your rants or helping you unwind—don’t hesitate to tell me. you don’t have to carry all that weight alone. and please, send my regards to Captain Jenna, Tara, and the rest of the hunters! I hope all of you are getting the well-deserved rest after those seven days of hell.
it made me smile to know you recognized my letters. but, I couldn’t help it; missing you felt like missing a part of myself, and writing those letters was the only way I knew to keep you close, even from afar. I’ve missed you like crazy. every seconds you’re away, it feels like the world has lost its color, leaving me wandering in a dull, grayscale existence. the walls of my studio seem to close in, suffocating me with memories of your laughter, your smile, your scent, your presence. I’ve tried to pour my longing into my paintings, but even the colors seem to rebel against me, refusing to take on the vibrancy they once had when you were near.
so, please, come back in my arms again. I’ll be counting the minutes until you arrive tonight, and you can be sure that you’ll get the warmest hug and lots of smooches from me. I’ve missed you more than words can say, my Miss bodyguard.
a work of art · 20d
do you still open your retro?
a work of art · 25d
I like you, for a while now. you probably think, I like you just because of your port. however, it’s not like that. I also thought that I’m attracted to you because of your port, it’s not everyday I encounter someone who uses rafayel as his muse. I was wrong to be honest, maybe it was the energy that you radiate, or the way you interact with your friends, yes, maybe that was the case. either way, I became fascinated by you, and I began to want to know you more. and the moment I realized that I have grown this unusual feeling towards you, I was scared. seriously, after so many years of avoiding people, I’ve finally liked someone again. it scared me, for reasons only I know. honestly, I was expecting these feelings would go away over time, but instead of that, it grew and grew to something I dreaded the most. of course I won’t label it as love, that word is far too deep to explain my feelings for you. I admire you, genuinely. this confession of mine isn’t for you to reciprocate my feelings, in fact I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m confessing so that you can reject me, and I can finally put these feelings of mine to a stop. I don’t like it, I don’t wanna like someone romantically. but you, however, just broke the wall I’ve been keeping the whole time. you made me feel things (I know your interactions are purely platonic) it’s not foreign to me, but since it’s been so long since I had feelings for someone, I was a bit surprised that I was still able to feel that way. I’m hesitating to actually say these words to you while writing it. I really don’t wanna write a confession, but my feelings for you is growing each day, and I want it to stop. you don’t have to respond to this, it’s your choice if you would, but you’re not obligated to. I really just want to express my feelings for you, kai. you’re a very admirable person, hardworking, and kind, maybe more than that, and you may have your flaws as well, but we all have that, it’s natural since we’re humans. also, I want to remind you (again) not to overwork yourself, you’re doing a great job now, and will do better, I’m serious, don’t push yourself too hard. I think I’ve written this confession so long, it might have bored you, but I’ve said what I wanted to say, so I’m ending it now. and if you have an idea of who I am, please don’t confront me privately (I will die out of embarrassment and may or may not deact my account😭) I like you very much, kai. thank you for making me feel that way, but I’m gonna have to let go of these feelings. so I hope our relationship as friends wouldn’t change (if you have an idea who I am) I hope it stays that way, have a good day!
I was surprised the moment I read this because, aside from it being a long message, it’s for my OP. I don’t often receive messages for my OP, so I’m still not great at responding to messages in that context. and, to be honest, I’m not great at uh… handling confessions either. but, I’ll try my best to express my thoughts.
thank you, sender, for admiring me. it takes a lot of courage to express yourself the way you did, and I want you to know that I genuinely appreciate your bravery in sharing your feelings with me. I wasn’t expecting someone to feel this way about me, and your sincerity and genuineness really touched me. but, at the same time, I find myself struggling because, as much as I admire the depth of your emotions, I don’t feel deserving of such sincere feelings. this is something I’ve been working on for a while, and I hope you can understand where I’m coming from. still, thank you so much.
I truly understand that these emotions have been weighing on you, and I’m genuinely sorry if I unintentionally contributed to any confusion or mixed feelings. it was never my intention to lead you on or cause any hurt.
I want you to know that your feelings are important and valid, and I don’t take them lightly. it’s just that, at this moment, I can’t reciprocate them, and I assume you know that since I think you knew me since from my Kaeya account because you’re calling me Kai. also, please rest assured that I won’t confront you about this, even though I might have a hint about who you might be.
I hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us. if you need some space or would like to discuss this further, please let me know. thank you again for your understanding and for being so open with me. take care always.