i’m a huge fan of religious guilt too anon !!! like i mentioned (i think) this was The first fic i ever wrote bc i just wanted to write the tag sooo badly. i love these themes a lot and they’ve had a special place in my heart forever,,, even before i got into skz and started reading minsung and whatnot. i think it’s because it’s easy to relate to (for me at least) and if well done the character development and the story in general can just feel sooooo satisfying, you know what i mean? i think i like to see the progression and the resolution… even if it’s not a “Good” resolution.

that being said! relatable., yes,,. i don’t like to project onto my characters too often outside of the stuff that we all subconsciously do (ex: i don’t think i’ve ever mentioned any of my characters having present fathers AKDJSKD. not done on purpose!!! it’s just not something i think of?) mostly because they’re NOT me and i don’t want to write.. myself…? i have self perception issues and it makes me uncomfortable when they look Too Much Like Me lol. but also like, it feels so much more personal that way too. like Here u go i guess, these r all my thoughts and feelings and emotions and fears I Suppose. on the internet. for all to read and judge. but i projected really hard on freedom jisung, and maybe that’s bc it was my first fic but mostly because it was originally a vent fic, and it was VERY short and was never supposed to see the light. but then i got emotionally attached and it snowballed into something much bigger and now i think… it might!!! (see the light).

but like when people have something bad to say about a character in a fic i don’t take it personally because im like Well that’s fair, and im very disconnected from them (in the sense that the character isn’t a perfect reflection of myself or The Real Stray Kids or anything like that). but freedom jisung… He is just like me… and his journey with identity and sexuality and love and acceptance and family hits very much close to home, so putting it out there for other people to read and criticize (bc they will) is SCARY AS HELL!!!! and i think that’s why.. i have rewritten it like 57 times.. its rly scary.

and ALSO! sorry holy shit what an essay. i feel like the only way for me to wrap it up nicely with a bow and all would be to have an ending that Feels.. conclusive? like one end of the extreme or the other; one where jisung is either loved and accepted by everyone in his life or one where he’s Exiled and goes no contact or whatever. but it’s like… i feel like that’s what would constitute a “Satisfying” ending (using my own words against myself) and neither of those are the case (at least in the way it’s written now). the ending now isn’t really related to other people’s reactions to jisung bc of how much the story grew and now it’s more of an actual Minsung Centered Fic, but like. ARGH!!! it feels very, neutral? like there’s the two extremes but there’s also the middle where you’re neither accepted nor exiled and you just. Live with that because the alternative is so much worse to you. and idk… what the reception would be on that……. and again i Don’t want people to be dissatisfied even if they have the right to be because it’s TOO CLOSE TO HOME!!! i know that not everyone will like it and that’s why im so scared to post it LOL. (to clarify minsung do end up together tho, obviously. they r happy and in love)

but anyway. Sigh. sorry u just sent a message to be like hey i want this fic and i wrote an Angel Analysis. but. that’s why it might never be posted or at least not in the way i Advertised it on the ship chart. if you’re not a lurker tho feel free to dm me and i can maybe send u a link to the original doc once i’m finished revision #6483857 … u just Let me know