full disclaimer, i only attended kink clubs when i was single, and since i’ve been in an exclusive relationship i don’t feel a draw to go to them…but that’s because for me, going to a kink club was always a sexual activity with the intended purpose of cruising. even if i was learning things like impact play or shibari, it was also with the intent of scoping out hookups.

my boyfriend and i match each other’s freak in being aggressively horny and monogamous LOL. we had all of the long extensive talks about what we both wanted out of a relationship, what our hard lines drawn in the sand are. neither of us has anything we’d get out of going to a kink club together.
i got my hoots and hollers out for a year and then i was domesticated…well maybe not domesticated but now i’m only feral for one person. feral wifeguy 4 feral wifeguy.

but that doesn’t mean monogamous couples can’t attend kink clubs, i saw quite a few within my time attending them!
i know in some kink clubs they even designated different colored wristbands to signify whether you’re open to play with others, only playing with your partner or open to making friends but nothing else.

a good starting point would be talking with your partner to see what both of you want. are you monogamous but open to sexual activities with other people? are you also sexually exclusive but want to go specifically for a class/to learn more about a specific fetish or kink?

in the case of the latter, i would recommend making a fetlife account. if there’s any local kink clubs in your area, chances are they’ll post when there’s certain nights or themes or even educational/demonstrative classes. if you and your partner are monogamous and sexually exclusive that might be more of what you’re looking for, but these sorts of resources can also be found online too!! it really depends on what kink you’re looking to know/experience more.

but above all else…talk, talk talk!!! you can never over-talk what you want with your partner, especially when it comes to sex and kink and attending a kink club together. what are you comfortable with, what are your hard no’s, what do you want or not want out of being perceived (as a couple and individuals) by other people.
i think so many issues in relationships !!especially!! with kink and sex come from people not talking about these things thoroughly…it may be uncomfortable, it may feel weird to navigate, but it’s better to be upfront about what you like and at the worst, feel a little uncomfortable to reach greater understanding and avoid serious upset later. you won’t sound “mean” or be “no fun” for saying “i will never do [x] and i don’t want to see either of us doing [x].” you don’t need any reason behind not wanting to do something other than “i don’t want to do this.”

there’s really no wrong way, everyone has their different comfort levels…i have friends who are monogamous and only open to fooling around with other people if it's with their partner. i have friends who are monogamous but open and play separately. i have friends who are open and polyamorous. and then there’s people like me who are monogamous and exclusive. your experience will be unique to you and your partner but so long as you communicate and meet each other both ways you should be able to have fun together!!