people just like to argue with fanfiction authors & act like readers NEED specific things to happen in fics, as if they are part of the writing process lol. despite the fic being overwhelmingly bottom taehyung, the (1) one outlined scene of him topping pushed an anon to the edge because apparently it would sully the entire fic knowing that there was a completely skippable chapter & when i told them to just skip the chapter or not read the scene, i was the bad guy lol. honestly, it was so baffling because i've been so loud about only writing my preferences.

but the fighting surrounding the grooming was what really did it to me, because i can't believe so many "anons" (since they swore up & down there was more than one) couldn't trust me/my vision long enough to realize that wasn't at all the issue. the amount of care & attention i was putting into this fic, since it's semi-autobiographical in that taehyung's bpd & aftermath is directly inspired by mine, should have been enough for people to just trust me but i was called a freak who romanticizes groomer who also weaponizes my own trauma because i brought up that i know what grooming is as a victim of it & i wasn't writing anything like that at all.

like, it sucks & i keep going back & forth between being severely hurt by all the misunderstandings & not caring, but it's so hard to write at this time too because i feel like it'll just stir up more controversy & misunderstanding.

you don’t even like taehyung, or by extension, bts. you like the popularity that comes with stanning them in 2024. it lets you live out your mean girl fantasies of pretending to be more elite than you really are when in reality, you’re an insecure nerd who can’t stand to see other people peacefully enjoy things. i’ve been a fan of bts since 2016/2017 & have watched them go from 0 accolades to hundreds lol. my account is for writing about fucking, not for retweeting polls & im more than able to vote quietly than having to spam post it for more attention from other stans & haters lmao. the way you’ll see someone quietly minding their business, only ever occasionally on the tl, and decide that that isn’t good enough FOR YOU says more about your personality than mine lmfaoooooooo. seek genuine help !!

the concept of tokki hyung is fine ! he's protective, he's understanding, he goes out of his way to learn about you & be caring while also catering to dirty nasty sex....... my issue isn't with him at all. its just that touchtank, the fic specifically, is such a sore spot for a majority of reasons that it's hard to talk about the fic. everything surrounding when i began to write it (taehyung's singular topping scene being a day-long argument because i said "skip the chapter" & that was apparently insensitive of me, talking about the age gap & being told that i was glamorizing grooming, having the fic be misconstrued as an only-sexy good time instead of my usual deep dive character study [i posted nsfw snippets because i wanted the plot to be a surprise]) just weighs down on me & it's just. really hard emotionally to be excited to write it, is all. i go back & forth between loving touchtank & just wishing i'd never come up with the concept for it.