⚪️ · 14h
im really glad for the conversation thats being had and i agree with the anons from before about the genderbending stuff- when i entered the fandom last year i skimmed through a lot of fics and enjoyed plenty that mainly focused on bttm sh. but all throughout 2024 we had this... huge wave of fem sh sneaking its way into every corner of the fandom to the point i just started rolling my eyes at every post i came across. theres sh, who enjoys both masc and fem clothing, pushing for a genderless look, and people seem to only be able to focus on making him a woman in his dynamic with hj? to me it felt like a clear message that if you like fem or girly things or arent conventionally masc, then you cant be anything else but a bttm or a woman. seeing someone push for both of them being genderbent into lesbians was extremely rare, and it made me naturally drift away from the dynamic altogether to the point of muting and blocking people who simply even dared to mention femsh or bttmsh. it looks to me like people are choosing to focus entirely on one thing only instead of gazing at the entire picture- if sh is to be their helpless, soft little thing who needs his daddy, then it stands to reason that they look for the member hes closest to who just so happens to be hj and take what they want from him to complete their vision of their dynamic- captain hj, but only his stage persona, the commander, the dom- discarding every other side of him to fit this image they have in their head. its rare to find people who can see multiple sides to them, and it truly sucks that i cant enjoy switch content anymore because this particular dynamic feels incredibly misogynistic to me. we can all enjoy bttm sh without reducing him to harmful gender stereotypes, but its been so normalized that speaking up against it would get you stoned (like that kai person, or you and others who spoke up in the past). but i suppose theres just cultural differences at play and westeners prefer their bottoms to be fem. even ridiculing sh's masc side truly makes me question... do you even like sh? if you cannot appreciate every side of him and only take what you want from him instead of accepting him wholeheartedly..... but i digress. heres to a 2025 without harmful stereotypes we should have left behind a long time ago
if people are only gonna read 1 RS out of this entire debate i really hope it's this one. i have nothing to add, you're extremely eloquent and captured my thoughts so well. thank you so much for sending this!!
ps.: i thought of something to add which is, i think people who enjoy femsh don't realize how pervasive it was in the fandom and how, no matter how much you block, mute people and words, it's impossible to not see it. for example, i'm not super into some parts of a/b/o which i have muted, and it shows up on my tl by mistake perhaps once every two months. i can totally cope with that. but it's really hard to not talk about something that bothers you when it's impossible to escape from it, because the only hope is to get people to see that they could be doing something (either tagging or being more thoughtful in their portrayals) to make the space more comfortable for everyone (including themselves)
