ah it’s okay admittedly I was already starting to feel a little burnt out on them because shippers in this fandom had harassed me over multiple of my fics in the past (even ones where they weren’t the main ship) and that had already kinda lent me towards that feeling of nervous whenever I engaged with their content or created it. And then the non shipping fandom blowing up to ALL the different solo fandoms in fighting over little things instead of getting excited for the next come back kinda added onto that. and honestly everything that’s happened in the last week kinda reaffirmed my feeling that I really did need a cleanse and time away from this fandom.

Whatever level of like I have for a person or ship can be tainted by negative energy from a fandom. It’s happened before with so many fandoms for me in the past and while there’s always a new one to come I really didn’t want the last year and a half I spent invested in this group to be ruined by that.

As an example of what I meant by this: think like a song that you really enjoyed, but you associated it with someone you were dating. Then if you have a horrible break up, now you still know that song is good objectively speaking, but it always reminds you of your ex so you can’t listen to it anymore without feeling awful.

That’s honestly where I was, and maybe this is my autism speaking, but I thought that my point would be easily understood that I didn’t hate anyone but was just feeling more distant lately and losing my passion due to a constant feed of negativity on my feed. When it blew up into people spreading lies and bullying me over things that are not true and purposely taken out of context (and continuing to harass me when shouldn’t y’all be focusing on your comeback???), it basically killed any interest I had in continuing to enjoy this group.

I have a lot of stuff going on in real life, with work, and health issues, and my car deciding to break down repeatedly this month. fandom is meant to be a fun escape from the shit show that’s the real world. And now as two of my main kpop bg fandoms have imploded for me in one week (though for VERY different reasons) I will mostly be focusing on posting about my girl groups here and tbh probably locking in on playing the new genshin update and distancing myself from the mess my real life is right now.

Maybe I’ll emerge and return. I do want to finish the fics I started posted because I don’t like to leave anything unfinished even if nobody will read them. I don’t write fic for “clout” or kudos or any of that. I write fic because tbh I can never find a fic that’s Exactly what I want to read unless I write it myself. So, I usually do write it myself, so that future me can reread it. That, or I write fics for fests or to fill prompts or as gifts to my friends because I love a good challenge and gift giving is my love language so I love going over the top to write a fic for my friend to enjoy. Everyone else that gets to read it is a fun bonus, and I’m glad people enjoy, but if nobody other than me enjoyed that would also be okay, because this is a hobby I do for myself and for enjoyment. And if right now, I’m not feeling that enjoyment then I need a break from that fandom.

Tbh I only responded to the other anon because it’s one of the many still appearing in my inbox after a week and I’m just tired of it. & sorry I used your well meaning message to rant about this. Thank you for your kindness.