dont be sorry haha. i think in general i prefer it violent, even if grooming is also involved. which isnt to say that there needs to be a big struggle or explicit threat. sometimes the manipulation just feels that violent. in general, im not into it when theres an established relationship as much. but theres always exceptions to the rule, right? so it depends on the ship and the context and everything.. but for example a relationship that feels like grooming/manipulative, and the noncon is just baked into that relationship, thats not as fun for me as when the rape is sort of a one-off. like trust was broken at the moment of it, how do i put it? whether the victim can resist or not, they arent really making a choice to stay. idk if this is making any sense. i guess long story short is that i like it more the more the victim suffers