There's no need to thank me or apologize for the messages at all!! I love messages and comments so much, especially these long ones where I get to discuss a fic in detail. Like, seriously, you have no idea how happy I am to come on here and see I have a message. Getting these types of messages here literally makes my entire day!

Even while writing, I was so glad that I went with the strict Felix pov and made him an unreliable narrator. The story would be really bland and straightforward without it, but I also thought it was such a fun concept to try to make readers 'see' such a distorted perception. While there are things readers didn't pick up on (at least from the comments and stuff), there also were a lot of cases where readers reacted the way I expected, like being shocked or frustrated with Felix for not picking up on Chan's many red flags. Imo this fic is actually the most interesting I've written so far, and I think a large part of that is just seeing how readers react in the comments. It's almost like a social experiment in a way lol like 'what percentage of readers will pick up on the more subtle signs of abuse?' It's interesting because, as I said in my last answer, a lot of things that happen in the early stages of an abusive relationship really do go unnoticed or get brushed off. I really wanted Chan to be a realistic abuser, and I put a lot of research and time into trying to make that happen in this fic, so while I was a little disappointed with the lack of readers' reactions to those things at the time, it seems that I did a pretty good job with realism there lol

The question of whether or not Chan really loves Felix has come up in the comments a good bit. For me..... I think he does, but looking at the story objectively, I think it can be left up to debate, and it just comes down to how honest you think Chan is being. Factually, Chan is more reliable than Felix (in that when they have differing accounts of something, Chan's is always more accurate), but that doesn't mean he can't lie.

Sorry to give you another rabbit hole to fall through, but I was just looking through the fic a little and came across something that I forgot about but should've mentioned in the last answer with Felix's mental health issues. Felix is likely dissociative, and I say 'likely' instead of 'is' because it wasn't something I was very committed to making apparent. Dissociative disorders are often a result of prolonged trauma, which we know rings true to Felix. When Chan gets physical, Felix starts feeling 'spacey,' which alludes to a somewhat mild form of dissociation. There are several dissociative disorders, and I had no particular one in mind, but two possible symptoms of dissociative disorders are depersonalization and derealization. There are multiple incidents throughout the story of Felix noting things he does subconsciously/instinctively in a strangely passive way that could suggest depersonalization (for example, in the final chapter when Chan is face-fucking Felix, he tells Felix to not touch him and removes Felix's hands from his thighs; about his own hands, Felix thinks 'They probably placed themselves there defensively,' which is weird because he's speculating). Derealization explains the many issues of Felix seeing and remembering things incorrectly.

I hope you're having a good day too! ⊹ᡣ𐭩₊⋆