There's no need to thank me or apologize for the messages at all!! I love messages and comments so much, especially these long ones where I get to discuss a fic in detail. Like, seriously, you have no idea how happy I am to come on here and see I have a message. Getting these types of messages here literally makes my entire day!

Even while writing, I was so glad that I went with the strict Felix pov and made him an unreliable narrator. The story would be really bland and straightforward without it, but I also thought it was such a fun concept to try to make readers 'see' such a distorted perception. While there are things readers didn't pick up on (at least from the comments and stuff), there also were a lot of cases where readers reacted the way I expected, like being shocked or frustrated with Felix for not picking up on Chan's many red flags. Imo this fic is actually the most interesting I've written so far, and I think a large part of that is just seeing how readers react in the comments. It's almost like a social experiment in a way lol like 'what percentage of readers will pick up on the more subtle signs of abuse?' It's interesting because, as I said in my last answer, a lot of things that happen in the early stages of an abusive relationship really do go unnoticed or get brushed off. I really wanted Chan to be a realistic abuser, and I put a lot of research and time into trying to make that happen in this fic, so while I was a little disappointed with the lack of readers' reactions to those things at the time, it seems that I did a pretty good job with realism there lol

The question of whether or not Chan really loves Felix has come up in the comments a good bit. For me..... I think he does, but looking at the story objectively, I think it can be left up to debate, and it just comes down to how honest you think Chan is being. Factually, Chan is more reliable than Felix (in that when they have differing accounts of something, Chan's is always more accurate), but that doesn't mean he can't lie.

Sorry to give you another rabbit hole to fall through, but I was just looking through the fic a little and came across something that I forgot about but should've mentioned in the last answer with Felix's mental health issues. Felix is likely dissociative, and I say 'likely' instead of 'is' because it wasn't something I was very committed to making apparent. Dissociative disorders are often a result of prolonged trauma, which we know rings true to Felix. When Chan gets physical, Felix starts feeling 'spacey,' which alludes to a somewhat mild form of dissociation. There are several dissociative disorders, and I had no particular one in mind, but two possible symptoms of dissociative disorders are depersonalization and derealization. There are multiple incidents throughout the story of Felix noting things he does subconsciously/instinctively in a strangely passive way that could suggest depersonalization (for example, in the final chapter when Chan is face-fucking Felix, he tells Felix to not touch him and removes Felix's hands from his thighs; about his own hands, Felix thinks 'They probably placed themselves there defensively,' which is weird because he's speculating). Derealization explains the many issues of Felix seeing and remembering things incorrectly.

I hope you're having a good day too! ⊹ᡣ𐭩₊⋆

(This contains spoilers for my Chanlix fic 'I Saw This Really Cute Guy at the Grocery Store the Other Day')

Hello again! Honestly, you're very real for saying that you initially started the fic because of the smut tags lol. Extremely relatable.

As I was writing and posting the fic, a lot of people in the comments were also speculating that Chan was more aware than he let on, so you definitely aren't alone on that. In the planning stages, I did consider having a big twist of Chan secretly being a stalker himself, but I decided against it because it felt so obvious as a twist, you know? My way of subverting expectations to make the story more unique and interesting was to make Chan, the victim, be an abuser rather than someone to feel too sorry for. I didn't really intend to set up a false plot twist like that lol. The 'signs' of Chan knowing more were either intended to be abuser red flags that Felix fails to pick up on, or Felix misunderstanding/not comprehending things properly due to his semi-delusional state (like the fact that he actually trashed Chan's living room way worse than he remembers, for example). Most of Chan's weird behavior is justified under the light of simply being attempts for control over Felix, like seeing how far he can push his boundaries (the steak), or just 'smaller' acts of abuse (pinching Felix to force him to talk about his traumatic parents' deaths). Most abusive relationships tend to start with these smaller, somewhat justifiable acts that are often overlooked by the victim and others. Since the fic is from Felix's pov, I think his nonchalant attitude towards a lot of Chan's doings kinda made some aspects seem smaller or less wrong to readers. No one has ever mentioned the pinching, for example, but I actually intended that to be foreshadowing for Chan's escalating violence to come in the next chapter.

Ngl there is a little more than a bit of myself in Felix, but I'd rather not go into detail lol. Felix is pretty detached and cold to others in general, but when he's in love/obsessed with someone, he exhibits more of an anxious attachment style. All of his problems stem directly from his traumatic childhood and adolescence. Another thing that I think was glossed over by readers is that Felix seems to have addiction issues with both alcohol and sex. The hints toward alcoholism are tagged but subtle because his mind actually becomes so filled with Chan that he begins to neglect everything else, including his work, which he has a passion for. I think the sex addiction is more debatable, but even Felix admits to himself that it's probably excessive. There is also a mention of using spit for lube, and Felix grimaces because it reminds him of his teenage years - ofc this is up to interpretation, but it could allude to painful, possibly less-than-consensual encounters. Basically, Felix has loads of trauma that he doesn't even fully recognize, which in turn makes him more susceptible to being a victim of domestic abuse.

Sorry for going on and on, but I'm really glad you shared your thoughts with me!! Thank you, and I wish you the best too! 💙

Hi!! I write a lot of Minsung with Jisung as the bottom, and so I think I've kind of developed this habit of always thinking of him as a bottom? (I do this with Felix too lol). I do want to write more top and vers Jisung, and so that will definitely end up happening more in the future. As for Jilix, I actually meant to have a Kinktober fill that was only Jilix, but it just never came to fruition for whatever reason. I don't think I'll ever write strict top Jisung/strict bottom Minho, but strict top Jisung/strict bottom Felix is extremely likely to happen.

One of my other Kinktober fills, 'Lost and Found' has vers Jisung/vers Minho, so that might be something you'd be interested in if you haven't already read it. There is some BDSM in it, but nothing too extreme imo.... Also Jisung is an alien in it LMAO but trust me, his dick gets a lot of attention in that (also note: it seems dub/noncon initially, but there's a plot twist at the end, so no worries if you're not into that)

Thanks for your message! I hope you have a great day 💙

Thank you so much!! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) I don't really talk about myself much lol. I'm not opposed to it or anything, but I just don't really feel the need to, you know?

Some random fun facts about me:
- I just turned 21
- I'm a cis-woman
- I'm mixed race and the unique experience of that helped make up a huge part of my identity as a person
- I live in a small town in the rural south (USA)
- I'm a multi-stan for several kpop groups (bgs and ggs)
- I've been into kpop since 2016 (when I was 12)
- Over the course of my life, I've dabbled in several creative areas, such as poetry, drawing, painting, video editing, and photo editing
- I'm an ENFP and type 4 (enneagram)
- Despite being an extrovert, I'm pretty shy lol

If you would like to know other random tidbits about me or my thoughts on things, I recommend following me on twt (@sanadul_). I tend to lore drop every now and then lol

I'm guessing you're talking about 'Take Care of It!' I'm really glad you liked it! I don't know if you saw it or not, but I have another Hyunsung Kinktober fic called 'Help! I Became Too Sexy!' It's pretty different (read: sillier) from TCOT, but you may like it if you like Hyunsung!

I probably won't be doing a sequel, but I'm honestly kinda obsessed with dom HJ and sub JS lol. If I were to write a sequel, I'd probably do something more like Hyunjin manipulating and blackmailing Jisung (remember how he threatened to tell Minho and the others that JS forced him to watch?) into doing something more... and then, he'd prob film it to use as additional blackmail hehehe

Thanks for your message/submission! 🤍

Lol someone else said that too, but I’ve never even seen the show beyond the first 2 eps back when it first came out.

I’m so glad you liked it so much! The sex scene is definitely one of my favs that I’ve written. Honestly, I originally didn’t want to have Felix cum, but it’s already been established that he cums quickly, so I felt like I had to stick to that. I think Chan’s main intention toward making it pleasurable was just to mindfuck FL a little more. Felix didn’t like it at first, and then even once it started hurting less and he started liking it more, he still didn’t want to admit that to Chan. Based on their relationship and understanding of each other sexually, I think Chan already knew at the beginning that Felix would end up liking it by the end. So basically, here’s Felix pretending to not like it, so what does Chan want to do? Make him cum ofc! ✨

Felix also straight up asked to cum, which we know Chan has a thing for, and Felix often ignores because he likes being ‘punished’ for not asking. So, Felix asking to cum was basically the ultimate submission in that moment, which again Chan loves, therefore there’s no way in hell Chan wasn’t going to let him cum.

Not me putting WAY too much thought into a damn sex scene (though it is dubcon, and all the best dub and non cons are complicated lmao). Anyway, I’m glad you liked the sex scene! Because of its heavy content, not a lot of people want to just say it to me, so I really really appreciate that! Thank you for reading and sending hilarious messages! 💙💙💙

Ah you're back lol! Honestly, as I was writing the sex scene, I kept flipping back and forth between 'omfg this is too much for most ppl' and 'why is this the hottest sex scene I've ever written' lmao

We all know how obsessive and strong Felix's love for Chan is, but I think Chan's feelings toward him are almost equal. Chan is just more calculated and externally stable.

The ending is technically ambiguous, but it is meant to lean more toward them staying together. It's ambiguous in that: is Chan going to continue to be abusive? Is Felix going to continue to 'stalk' Chan? Are they still going to move in together in 2 days? Now that they're more aware of each other's tendencies and inner feelings, will they continue to be unhealthy? Will they each try to improve and get help? Etc.

In my opinion, if Felix tried to leave Chan, I think he would pull a FL's dad, and someone would die. He's controlling, violent, aggressive, and in love with Felix to an unhealthy degree, so definitely (at least) FL would die. In the event Chan broke up with FL, I think FL would also die, so............ basically the only timeline FL lives is if they're together lmfao

Felix is kinda stupid in this lol. He ignores most red flags and only sees what he wants to see. He doesn't want to see Chan being a bad or unwell person, he wants to see Chan as perfect. So, it's 'thank god Channie isn't dumping me, I love him so much' instead of 'oh fuck I'm dating an angry, controlling, violent man,' you know? Chan is, like, infinitely more cognizant than Felix.