!!!!! hold up... dream job? is it, really? congratulations anon!! ❤️ hmm i'd recommend taking a moment to focus on your breathing if you feel overwhelmed. that's it, really. NEWSFLASH, ANON, YOU'RE ALREADY IN!!! 🎉 you literally made it through the hardest part. don't stress about speaking well :) your team should be worried about speaking well in front of you! LOL. well at some point, just know that your team might ask you to introduce yourself and share some of your experience (which you've probably already done during the interviews) so keep that handy in the back of your head. otherwise, you're really not expected to know anything on your first week. the three things you can do while onboarding is: bring energy & enthusiasm, be candid with your thoughts, and ask questions even if you think they sound stupid.

no one's gonna judge you for stumbling through a few sentences—so instead of that, focus on receiving and clarifying info from your team. ask about the ongoing projects (especially the major ones that really contribute to team KPIs.) if you don't know acronyms being used, ask. are there any existing processes you should know about? how do you work with other teams? and so on. try to get a grasp of the team organisational chart and who reports to who. find that database early, it'll help you a lot. this is the best time to snoop tbh and ask about politics/dynamics when you're speaking to individuals.

for your first week, try to take a more observational stance and figure out how your team works, what your responsibilities are, your workflow, and so on. you don't have to develop a point of view so quickly (ie. do avoid jumping to conclusions), so just take your time to collect info that's relevant to your role. assemble your own bookmarks / workspace so you're ready when it's Go Time. most teams don't expect so much out of new hires for the first few days of onboarding before they put you on your first project, but i guess it depends on your field & how insane your company is. either way, you're going to be fine. just focus on onboarding. along the way, crack a few jokes with your new colleagues, laugh a little, IT'S CHILL... nobody wants to feel like work is work. so don't worry about you—ask about them. get a feel for their culture. i reiterate, YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. you'll most definitely have a colleague that's willing to help you out and give you the low-down, similar to what i've done here, haha. but yeah, have fun! ♥ and don't stay late for no reason! :)

also, OMG WHY DID YOU COME TO ME HAHAHAHAHA am i the corporate slave of rpf twt 😭 the mere thought is hilarious i'm dying