hehe surprise! 🎉 yeah, i, uh, didn't announce it... 😅 i'm in a strange headspace where i feel kind of awkward promoting my own writing... and i didn't want to pressure anyone into reading it before i finish & post all the chapters. first of all, it's not really trope-ish and is pretty hard to categorise as a ynbn fic (aka it doesn't contain buzzwords that people usually look for), and ch1 is deliberately nebulous in favour of achieving a more... hyperreal experience? i know many people don't mind it, and i have open-minded readers/friends on twitter who'd love to check it out. but the fic starts off at a place where you can't immediately be certain of what's happening (on purpose), and i love it too much and i'm really proud of it, so much that i don't want to ruin this good thing by attaching any expectations to it 💀 and posting on twitter usually comes with that weight of expectation. i think fellow writers will know the feeling. i actually don't expect this fic to be popular at all, it's kind of niche. for now, it remains a nice surprise for people who keep an eye on my profile i guess!! hahaha ahhh I KNOW I'M BEING SO WEIRD ABOUT THIS I'M SORRY I LITERALLY CAN'T BE NORMAL KJASJFKA 😭

ANYWAY... there's no rush bb! read when you want to. there's a lot of great fic coming out of the rarepair fest too, so... plenty to go around :)

yes i am doing fine ♥ been dancing a lot these days and i'm pretty happy with my progress there too. one day i'd love to tell yeonjun how he inspired me to start learning to dance. i felt really emotional a few days back after i nailed a routine, which was the first time i ever felt that proud about my dancing haha. i hope you're doing well too! hugs for you!! (skjfjsdkf are you flower anon? or someone else?)

thank you for the well wishes! i'm feeling better, yeah :) making baby steps. hmm yeah, the little vlogs earlier this year were cute... i love the idea of them taking a break too, sans cameras. would be so cool if they could just be bored and play/learn instruments, enjoy some alone time, and quietly catch up on shows on a screen that's bigger than the in-flight entertainment system. it'd be lovely if they could take a month off, but it sounds like a pipe dream; a month is like a year in kpop time, haha ): what i really want is for txt to at leeeeeast go skiing like kai wanted 😭 the poor boy has dropped so many hints skfdskfj i hope To Do staff make it happen one day, even in a smaller way!

hiii back at you ♥ i'm okay. it's just that some sad news came in earlier this month. felt like my world tilted a few degrees after, and the way i see life hasn't really been the same since. i've been coping alright—just re-evaluating priorities, dancing and doing more barre, going to local gigs, watching films alone, and trying to be more present irl. i'm filled with so much more love and gratitude for my SO than ever because we've been there for each other through just about everything. i'm reminded every few months of how i must've found the person who loves me the most in this world. i can only hope to be that for them too.

thanks for missing me :) and aw... positivity? thank you. haha, i like when people show compassion and understanding on the TL. happens a bit less often these days, huh? haha, maybe you know what i'm talking about. either way, i'm glad you're still here anon. 🫂❤️ i'll tweet whenever it feels right/authentic for me. i haven't really reacted to yeonjun or soobin's magazine shoots, kai's birthday, the funny lil tiktoks, taegyu live, and the recent to dos—but i've enjoyed it all. they're literally my antidote to burnout! :')

haha well, if you're describing a scenario where the universe decides for you, and everyone knows who their assigned soulmate is... imo, soobin would dismiss the entire system lol. didn't he once mention he actually chose his soulmate every year back in school? even now, he chooses his own in beomgyu. soobin strikes me as the sort of person who puts his own intuitions above the whims of the universe. he's likely not to care too much about assigned soulmates—he'd find his own. he'd be curious about his true soulmate, of course, and he might give them a chance like everyone else, but if he found out he didn't love them there's no stopping him from disrespecting what the universe wants for him lol.

on the other hand, the romantic in yeonjun might start off regarding true soulmates through a rose-tinted lens. he'd be shy, go with the flow, open to it going somewhere—and give his best in hopes of unlocking the magic that made them fated soulmates in the first place. but he's also not one to waste any time. if he just doesn't feel the spark/connection, or he doesn't admire them in some way, he'd eventually become just as dismissive about the system as soobin is. he would probably be more quiet about things not working out, though.

in the case that ynbn are true soulmates, the funny thing is that neither of them would believe it. over time, i think they'd realise they're more similar than they think, and they are called to each other's lives to make the other better. hahaha.

for the record, i'm not a soulmate believer haha. be it irl or as a fic trope, the concept itself doesn't really excite me... but i'm curious! how would you answer your own question, anon? :)

hello... nooo i'm so sorry you went through that 🫂 i hope you're in a better place now. and your words do mean a lot to me, i feel very comforted hearing them. i actually see vulnerability as a strength; in fact, it's something i seek in others. i hope you don't feel bad about having once felt these things, just like how i shouldn't either. sad days just happen right?

you're so loving for leaving this message :) thanks for that, really. haha tbh i was just trying to express something i felt for a long time. once i got it out, i didn't (and still don't) want to read what i tweeted, so i can only vaguely guess at what you mean when you say i've articulated it well... :') only recently have i identified the corpses in my own mind, even though i've lived with a bit of psychic horror/discomfort for a while now. it's just me outgrowing myself, maybe? human creature squirming against the cage of its own mind.

i don't feel particularly damaged, and i don't feel an urge to be saved, nor do i think any secret piece of advice will unlock some hidden happiness within myself. i can look into the light on my own, and i can also realise that life is not meant to be taken so seriously. but i also know now that living takes a lot out of me. it's trying. reaching. being in constant motion. yet—sometimes i scare myself with my own blankness? i know what i should want, i know how i might get there, but some days i feel like a rag doll, sat on a shelf watching the world slide by, simultaneously content and disappointed with very little. then it makes me wonder if i'm a defect, or if i just lack some innate quality that makes me who i want to be. do i deserve to feel that way about myself? sometimes, i really do. but other times, those are just days where i covet what other people have. eventually, those days pass. some things are not meant to be yours, right? some lives, some titles, some moments. the things meant for you will find you.

weirdly enough, i think describing this feeling has really helped me. call it an asian upbringing, but i've been too used to pretending things are okay, LOL. but as it turns out, admitting that your internal environment is a clusterfuck actually does lift your mood... so i'm feeling better, and i really want to thank you for coming here to share what you've gone through too. i can't tell you how embraced i felt when i saw this message in my inbox. 🫂

and as for that last thing you said about my writing... thank you 😭 seriously, it means so much to me. i kept telling myself i would post my current wip this month, then next month, then the next, but i don't know. i just don't feel like it's done yet, and sometimes i wonder if it's disappointing that i kind of take my time with things. i know it isn't—no one's keeping score, and i don't feel that way about my favourite authors at all—but it still comforts me a lot to hear that. i humbly request that you wait a while more, please 🫂💛 i'm lucky that of all souls to have shifted, it was yours. thank you soooo much. really. have a lovely day ❤️❤️❤️

LMFAOOO OKAY... ignore all that until you make it then HAHAHAHAHA 😭 tbh if we were talking irl rn i wouldn't feel comfy giving specific interview advice unless i knew what field you're in, what role you're trying for, or who you're interviewing with. and, uh, it's less than a day before your interview which isn't the best time for me to rock your boat... so i won't. i'm sure you already prepped as much as you can. but from my experience hiring teammates (and my boss!) along with interviews i've gone for, here's a quick list of general tips:

• know your own story, especially when introducing yourself. give them a sense of how your interests evolved throughout your career.

• think of projects you've worked on that you feel represent your biggest struggles & triumphs. most interviewers ask about that. i highly recommend that you practice telling the story out loud haha and make sure you're being balanced by describing things that you did great and stuff you could do better. also don't overtly blame other people or managers if not justified pls that's a red flag HAHAHA

• be aware of the state of the company if possible, and go into the interview with an idea of something you'd like to change.

• lastly - be curious about your role, how they work, what projects they've got, bc don't lose the plot here... you are also interviewing them.

• if this is your dream job i think you should say it is, and tell them why. it helps if the panel starts rooting for you tbh. above all, be honest and candid. just self-awareness alone already sets you apart as someone trustworthy.

also, if it helps relax you: just know that 90% of the time, if you've made it to a non-HR interview, that means they already think you are qualified to do the job. they've already seen your portfolio or experience and thought you were a good fit. what they want to see now is whether you're a colleague they want to work with—a.k.a. vibe/energy, what differentiates you from their other shortlisted candidates, and your thought process when approaching your projects or when dealing with tricky situations. there's also something specific they're looking for that they won't tell you—but you can & should ask. :)

at the end of the day, know your value. if it doesn't work out, there's something else out there meant for you. it's really fine. i think you should show you really want it and do whatever it takes to get it, but also make peace with the possibility that you might not. their decision could be due to something entirely arbitrary LOL. it's not you, it's them. so, all the best! 💛

and TEA... 🍵 well about 3 years ago, some manager (not even MY manager, ok, which makes this so funny) i worked with had this habit of belittling me and basically did not gaf about my rationale for certain choices before shitting on stuff i did. he was also just a bad manager to my friend bc he presented more problems than solutions, didn't give her much guidance/insight on her work, and had this CRAZY habit of badmouthing & antagonising everyone else—even our VP (who didn't deserve it)!!! i literally despised the guy, he was so toxic. anyway it affected me a lot... i had a few breakdowns over his comments, felt pretty humiliated. obv my friend was really pissed too. eventually, we brought this up to his boss (who is basically our VP) and she staged an impromptu anonymous peer feedback exercise for the WHOLE team just so we could document our grievances for this ONE PERSON. no one else knew that was the real reason she did this lmfao. that asshole used to tell us to "always think about the consequences of speaking up" as a veiled threat; well, our VP later used our essays as grounds to fire him. best consequence ever, if you ask me. unfortunately he's off to ruin some other company. he's the type of guy who sits in the advisory council of a board and does nothing. ugh some people literally fail upwards 😒

hahahaha okay i hope sharing this comforts you somewhat. and sdkfsjk i don't have a ynbn shrine, it's all in my head actually... i don't collect merch. only memories. lol! anyway, sending hugs. you'll do good. make some notes for yourself, and just breathe :)

!!!!! hold up... dream job? is it, really? congratulations anon!! ❤️ hmm i'd recommend taking a moment to focus on your breathing if you feel overwhelmed. that's it, really. NEWSFLASH, ANON, YOU'RE ALREADY IN!!! 🎉 you literally made it through the hardest part. don't stress about speaking well :) your team should be worried about speaking well in front of you! LOL. well at some point, just know that your team might ask you to introduce yourself and share some of your experience (which you've probably already done during the interviews) so keep that handy in the back of your head. otherwise, you're really not expected to know anything on your first week. the three things you can do while onboarding is: bring energy & enthusiasm, be candid with your thoughts, and ask questions even if you think they sound stupid.

no one's gonna judge you for stumbling through a few sentences—so instead of that, focus on receiving and clarifying info from your team. ask about the ongoing projects (especially the major ones that really contribute to team KPIs.) if you don't know acronyms being used, ask. are there any existing processes you should know about? how do you work with other teams? and so on. try to get a grasp of the team organisational chart and who reports to who. find that database early, it'll help you a lot. this is the best time to snoop tbh and ask about politics/dynamics when you're speaking to individuals.

for your first week, try to take a more observational stance and figure out how your team works, what your responsibilities are, your workflow, and so on. you don't have to develop a point of view so quickly (ie. do avoid jumping to conclusions), so just take your time to collect info that's relevant to your role. assemble your own bookmarks / workspace so you're ready when it's Go Time. most teams don't expect so much out of new hires for the first few days of onboarding before they put you on your first project, but i guess it depends on your field & how insane your company is. either way, you're going to be fine. just focus on onboarding. along the way, crack a few jokes with your new colleagues, laugh a little, IT'S CHILL... nobody wants to feel like work is work. so don't worry about you—ask about them. get a feel for their culture. i reiterate, YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. you'll most definitely have a colleague that's willing to help you out and give you the low-down, similar to what i've done here, haha. but yeah, have fun! ♥ and don't stay late for no reason! :)

also, OMG WHY DID YOU COME TO ME HAHAHAHAHA am i the corporate slave of rpf twt 😭 the mere thought is hilarious i'm dying

LOL i love this interpretation of yeonbin (a.k.a. their e2l pipeline) but i wouldn't characterise soobin as jealous—maybe grudgingly petty & judgy? HAHAHA. in the sense that you-know-who gets ALL the attention and ALL the praise but hmph what makes him so special? he's just some guy who spends his entire life in mirrors and practice rooms. his very existence makes everyone around him feel bad for not being as clinically insane. so it's time to humble him—but soobin is repeatedly reminded of how great yeonjun is at their job (as if anyone lets him forget.....), so eventually, he settles into a stage of grudging acknowledgement. fine, maybe Mr 4th Gen It Boy does deserves his constant stream of praise. soobin will still ignore tf out of yeonjun if he can help it though, because the guy does not need more attention than he already gets. little does he know it actually drives yeonjun crazy to have the attention of millions, but not the one boy he wants.

hahaha that's clearly a more rpf-ey take on what you just shared. but if you're asking me about RL dynamics as i see it, imo soobin seems to have grown up a lot mentally. he's at peace with himself now, soooooo tbh he doesn't strike me as someone prone to jealousy—not anymore at least. imo he's more likely to feel pity for someone else who doesn't 'get it' like he does. he more clearly understands his role in the team these days & the mental clarity seems to help him avoid spiralling towards negativity. one self-help page at a time, at least. haha.

as for the way soobin describes yeonjun—i think he's just being honest about how yeonjun influences him and the group in terms of style/performance direction. those aren't necessarily romantic declarations imo, he's being very matter-of-fact. the 'muse' thing was said when he was buttering up yeonjun for a variety show so it doesn't count to me. but the other two, said in context, probably weren't exaggerations. he probably does take yeonjun as a north star. the members always say how much they learn on the job by watching yeonjun, and soobin's very much the same there imo.

LOL this answer was a brainblend of fiction and fact. the fun is somewhere in the middle. i hope some of this makes sense to you anon!

hehe i know it's not the point, but it's actually so interesting to hear about how your relationship to kpop is tied to one group. that's kind of the way i am with txt. if i ever stopped feeling connected to them, i'd mellow out exactly the way you're describing.

about tyun... yeah, he was probably the first yeonbinist that ever existed, huh! not to mention how he's so good at spotting opportunities for them to talk, especially on topics they usually gloss over. and goddd the HEAVY CONNOTATIONS of "have fun you two"... he was literally FLIRTING ON THEIR BEHALF... who's to say he didn't keep his fingers crossed the whole time, hoping they'd act on their feelings for once? before there was yeonbinism, there was taehyun's humble hope for his hyungs 🥹