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One of Valerie's victims · 4mo

okay sorry, I'm sure this is a weird question but like... do you have any idea about how to stop liking yaoi/BL? or m/m pairings in general? the discourse gets tiring and I'm also tired of being drawn to it. like not just problematic stuff (though honestly if you knew anything about how to stop liking that, that'd be great too. but that's not specific to BL for me. that's an issue of mine regardless of gendered pairing) - l wanna stop liking it in general. especially nsfw, but literally. just in general. entirely. I don't mean this to be like... rude or anything. I know people are weird to you about it, and I don't wanna do that. esp since you've made it clear you prefer yuri. which is cool too obv. I just freak out about this stuff and I feel like a gross, shameful freak and I wanna fix it. like I've been avoiding BL anyway, I don't read it that much, but it's still appealing to me despite all the discourse which is frustrating. do I just drown myself in like... run of the mill het novels or something? to train myself out of it? do I pavlov myself with a negative response/punishment every time I think about it? like it's upsetting too bc I've been questioning my gender and fearing it's all just because I'm a freak who can't accept that I'm prob just a cishet woman or something. like I'll get envious of men (not specifically gay men... just... men) and I know it's all probably just wishful thinking and I'd probably just regret transitioning, even if I am super envious of physical things (like voices) for no discernable fuckin reason?? I just want it all to stop so I can be normal and stop thinking about it. so like... yeah, any tips would be appreciated ;w;

Opening this felt like a flashbang anon I can't lie to you 😭😭 but on a serious note I think it'd be unhealthy to force yourself to stop liking what you like... you aren't shameful or gross or a freak and the whole pavlov/punishing thing lowkey sounds like it'd be emotional self harm so I would not recommend that at all. You are clearly dysphoric and the online environment surrounding BL is doing you more harm than good both for your gender identity and your general state of mind because it's clear you've been ruminating a lot. My only advice is to like what you like and try to block out the toxicity of twitter by muting words/blocking people, maybe finding new social circles that make you feel comfortable with yourself. If you really do just want to shed your enjoyment of BL then I guess just stop interacting with it but again I feel like you're letting your anxiety control you right now. (Also about the yuri thing-- yeah I like yuri more but lowkey I lied about not really liking BL to get whoever was bothering me off my back LMFAO I am still a rotten girl at heart)

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