Honestly all you can do is ignore it and remind yourself that people online are stupid and mean for no reason about things that don't affect them. Block and mute very liberally because you will be so much happier if you do. I know it's easier said than done but eventually if you tell yourself enough that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and then follow through with that by blocking people, you will start to feel better and the discourse will start to feel silly and inconsequential to you. I've had anti-fujos in my retrospring since like March/April calling me a fetishizer/pedophile/misogynist and I still get those types of messages but I've started to just delete them because it was really getting to me for a bit and I feel much better when I disengage with it all.

Bigotry as in racism and transmisogyny. About heteronormativity in yuri, as I said it depends on the author's intent + I don't see how yuri could be totally immune from heteronormativity if yaoi can be heteronormative? I think anything people consider heteronormative in yaoi can be heteronormative in yuri too and it's hypocritical to say otherwise. Like I think the whole "it's two girls so it can't be" is a stupid argument because two men isn't inherently heteronormative but the content is what makes it heteronormative or not. This is an example from an f/f fic on ao3, not from yuri manga but I think fic counts for arguments like this-- it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen (I didn't read it lol I clicked off after being jumpscared by all the bullshit in it) I'm so serious it demonized butches and it was misogynistic among a billion other things omfg but anyway it was about a butch abusing their femme and the fic opened up with the butch being with a group of friends talking about women the way men talk about women like straight up disgusting misogyny it made me nauseous. So that's what I mean when I say f/f content can also be heteronormative.

Yes I do think there can be heteronormative dynamics in yuri depending on the intent of the artist/writer as it'd be hypocritical of me to think otherwise considering my stance on yaoi. Also, slightly off topic but, a lot of people on yuritwt seem to consider yuri to be this inherently clean and nonproblematic genre purely because of the fact that it's about women, but as a yuri enjoyer I think it's important to acknowledge and speak up about the genuinely bigoted themes in A LOT of yuri media 🤷‍♀️ it's definitely not free from criticism at all.
On the het manga-- I don't think I'd consider it inherently heteronormative because cis gnc people are NOT considered the norm in general society either... but I don't know enough about the content of the manga to give a definitive answer.

I'm having a bit of trouble getting my point across in this reply as I am a cis man hater, a yuri lover, and an anticensorship believer + I am not transfem so I don't want to overstep and say something disrespectful considering this has now been turned into a discussion that concerns trans women and my opinion is far less important in that. Because of that, all I'm going to say on this topic is that-- I also get her point and I think my tweet WAS reductive in the way that I didn't think too deeply into what I was saying (I wasn't trying to engage in discourse, honest 😭 I saw the og tweet and absentmindedly commented on it without looking at any other discussion about it and that was that) and it came across as ignorant because of that. However, I think all stories of all experiences have merit and should be allowed to exist as long as they're handled correctly-- and for the record I have not read the manga, I only know of it and the concept so I don't know how the manga portrays the lolita boy (ALSO I don't consider the manga to be a queer story despite them being gnc because it is still a cishet relationship, I just need to make that clear.) And saying as a yuri reader, it's just true that ultra fem girl x masculine girl has been done countless times before (for example, I rarely see butch4butch yuri though I will take recs if anyone has any) and I don't think that that's enforcing gender norms obviously considering I'm a femme lesbian with a love of butches and butchfemme relationships are definitely not "gender conforming..." but I've never seen a het manga with the premise of both characters being gnc and I think that's nice and I like the idea of a boy in lolita.

Opening this felt like a flashbang anon I can't lie to you 😭😭 but on a serious note I think it'd be unhealthy to force yourself to stop liking what you like... you aren't shameful or gross or a freak and the whole pavlov/punishing thing lowkey sounds like it'd be emotional self harm so I would not recommend that at all. You are clearly dysphoric and the online environment surrounding BL is doing you more harm than good both for your gender identity and your general state of mind because it's clear you've been ruminating a lot. My only advice is to like what you like and try to block out the toxicity of twitter by muting words/blocking people, maybe finding new social circles that make you feel comfortable with yourself. If you really do just want to shed your enjoyment of BL then I guess just stop interacting with it but again I feel like you're letting your anxiety control you right now. (Also about the yuri thing-- yeah I like yuri more but lowkey I lied about not really liking BL to get whoever was bothering me off my back LMFAO I am still a rotten girl at heart)