YELLING SDHJGKSD omg anon you're brutal. but truly... dan heng and ren have loved each other, hated each other, and now are ??? about each other.... and like it's hard to wipe away the long history between them, the betrayals and lies, that even though they may have accepted each other's existence, it can't go back to the way it was before...

and jing yuan is like "can you get along? for me?" while giving them the saddest pleading eyes omg and they're like... ok, fine (dan heng agrees almost immediately. blade closes his eyes and desperately chokes out a "yes"). and like over the years, they come to care for each other again, perhaps affection... because jing yuan waited for them!! he was always there!!! in fact it's been so long that they really can't imagine a luofu without jing yuan now.

but their time has always been too short, and oh, jing yuan knows that so painfully. he's happy they came back to see him, but the flutter of mara in his head, the memories that he's worked so long to suppress, they come tumbling back to the surface when he sees dan heng play with his finches, and blade practicing in the courtyard. and he sees flashes of the people they used to be overlaid their present selves. and then it gets worse. he hears their voices when they aren't there. he can't differentiate between dream and memory and reality. he needs to be touched a lot to ground him in reality. and then...

he becomes fully marastruck, but not violently. rather, he calls for blade and dan heng, and they hold him, and slowly gingko leaves grow and grow until they are only clutching empty air and leaves, fluttering away in the wind and his ribbon slowly drifting to the ground.

blade takes starfall reverie with him and dan heng takes the ribbon and returns to the astral express, and both of them think they can keep going as they used to live, but now...

the archives room is too cold now. dan heng tosses and turns, feeling the phantom warmth of arms around him and feeling safe.

blade throws himself into slaying abominations but he's forgotten what it was like to fight solo, without jing yuan covering his back. he keeps feeling the prickle of lightning behind him and turns to find no one.

ok anyways this got too long ty anon you're brutal and you made me sad and then i made myself even sadder. this is a beautiful idea ty for sharing!!!