hi anon!! the thing is, i Have been in love and i Have had sex, but i'm not a korean male idol taking it up the ass from another korean male idol (sadly)... yet i've still written about that!! and there are so many amazingly talented fic writers out there, creating the most delicious smut for us to enjoy, that are literally ace irl! writing simply doesn't have to be about things you have direct personal experience with, imo.

of course, if you don't want to be insensitive or inaccurate about certain topics, experiences, dynamics etc that you are unfamiliar with, i recommend doing some research. when i write i'm constantly looking things up, because i like being as accurate as i can be (without sacrificing my own fun). and if there's a specific thing you don't know much about but you have friends or moots that do, then please ask them about it!! a lot of my writer friends approach me occasionally to vibe check parts of their stories, to see if anything seemed off or out of place (i would say i do this the other way around as well but i have not been writing a whole lot these past months sadly)... we are a thriving creative community and we should make use of that! :)

either way, i personally think that if you want to write something, you should just... do that! enjoy it!! like there literally isn't a rule that says you aren't allowed to write accidentally toxic relationships or inaccurate smut. i mean honestly a lot of the fics i read contain interactions that would be considered extremely toxic irl, and smut that doesn't represent reality a whole lot either... like hello. douching only gets mentioned in like maybe 3 out of 100 fics, half of the fics out there don't make characters use lube for anal and have them walk away unscathed, stds simply dont exist in most fic universes, etc... and i am not complaining at all! it's fiction and you can do whatever you want with it. if you're worried about how other people might react to your writing, you could always add an author's note to warn them that there might me inaccuracies!

most importantly, just focus on what you wanna write! i'm assuming you have an idea you're very excited about and that's why you want to write it in the first place. why not simply lose yourself in enjoying the process of that! ❤️ creating is super fun, just write for yourself at first! and if you want it to be accurate or perfect before sharing with the public, ask a friend or another writer for help :)