i use references a lot yes! i find drawing easiest when i already have some sort of visual in front of me, even if i end up changing a lot. i also love to combine multiple references to make something feel new!! i have some photo editing skills so i sometimes like to frankenstein a few pictures together to make my own unique reference :) ideally id love to be able to draw without a reference, not bc i think it's "better" but bc i think it would give me more freedom to draw whatever i want without feeling stuck in reference searching hell every time :'))

relying (mostly) on a reference for lighting is definitely easiest for me, but i am able to add my own lighting in a drawing when i need to. very often, reference pictures dont have the lighting or coloring that i want anyway. what really helps with being able to add any type of lighting or shadows is knowing how the planes of the face work. you'll have to see what you're drawing as a 3D object rather than a flat drawing, and figure out what places will catch the light, and where the edges of these places lie, in order to create structure. if you wanna get more familiar with this, i suggest looking up the asaro head! there are super useful tools out there that show what planes of the face catch light in different lighting settings. if you can learn this, you can apply it to any face you paint, from any angle :)