oh! omg i’m so sorry i see this so late 😭 i think one’s relationship with what they want is always… interesting. i’ve known people who would freely say aloud what they want, without guilt or anything. i’ve seen people feeling guilty about wanting so much, thinking the world is chaotic enough without their desire, that it won’t come true. that it might come true, but if it doesn’t, it will hurt so much. i’ve struggled with even knowing or admitting what i want because i always think there’s no point in chasing it. if there’s no point in chasing, there’s no point in wanting it in the first place. and yes while things i wanted, i did get; after the vulnerable post i’ve made i also went through some things i want that i couldn’t get, some things i want, and i did get. and while it’s sad when i couldn’t get what i wanted, i realised there’s some fun in this uncertainty. and honestly, whether it comes true or not, my want is still my want. i can do whatever i want with it. it is still mine, manifested or not. and i think i like thinking about it this way, now. i will let myself want something. i will get greedy, i will want to chase for it. and maybe i will get it. maybe i don’t. either way, i’ve wanted it. i can say, “that is something i wanted” and be proud of it. i’m glad my tweet makes you feel that love and happiness is out there for you, as well. i do think it’s good to believe in it. i believe in it. love and happiness is out there for you too, and even from me! i have love for you, for coming to my inbox and telling me this. i love you!! i hope happiness will always find its way to you 💗

no? i never said that lol?? all i did was rt-ing a tweet saying men should be nowhere near gynecology and i’m aware that the fact is, there are male gynecologists. my opinion in retweeting that is from my point of view, most of them are judgemental, did not do a good job, and overlook all women’s problems as “being dramatic” or “being emotional” and “it’s just hormones” which, okay it makes sense, but at the same time you can’t just discard patients who told you they don’t feel well with just “it’s just your hormones, go home” and that’s why i don’t trust cis men as gynecologists. they don’t know how women feel, and most of the time they downplay our problems and just blame the hormones and emotions. not to mention in the area where patriarchy is strong and women don’t even get that much strength in their opinions, being faced with men gynecologists who doesn’t even believe your problem is real and keep blaming your hormones and emotions doesn’t seem like an ideal situation. so no i do not hate women who prefer male gynos, they can go anywhere they want and feel comfortable with, i’m glad you get male gynos you can trust and feel comfortable with. but sadly that’s not always the truth for everyone lol

i’ve been into this anime called elusive samurai!! (binged read the whole manga in 2 days) it’s so good the adoptive father and mc dynamic is so good :( they melt my heart…. i also just found a song called “anything” and it makes me so emotional listening to the lyrics… the mundane domesticity… oh how much we yearn for the simplicity of life… the life that isn’t as complicated and isn’t this hard to navigate through… how beautiful it is to live in a small secluded cottage with someone you love and go through the blissful mundane domesticity… mango in your mouth and the yellow stain in your fingers and the wet clothes hung up to dry…. how beautiful….

omg hi!! woah you came from reading moon bleached bird... thank you so much for reading and loving my baby :') i'm glad my little fic can touch part of your heart, it makes me so, so happy. and yes, to be honest, while i was writing moon bleached bird, i knew i want a happy ending for them, but i couldn't believe i could write it. i think you sensed that, the unsurety, the question of, "will it really get better?" because i also question that throughout the writing of this fic. originally, the plot i had in mind was for jisung to run away from seungmin and disappeared, because i thought, seungmin doesn't deserve to wait this long for someone who couldn't give him any surety. this will all end up in pain and seungmin shouldn't stay for so long, he shouldn't be so stubborn. i think, in my mind, it was also what jisung would want. but as i wrote it, i began to wonder, if i were in seungmin's shoes, i think i would /never/ let jisung go. and so i abandoned the unhappy ending and went with where the characters guide me, i guess? just going with the flow. it ended up being like this. i think the ending is a bit abrupt, but sometimes light crashes into our dark world in a very unexpected time, so suddenly, without warning. and then we realise, ah, it does get better. it won't always be at the best, and sometimes the better will become worse again, but not sorrow won't last forever unless you cling stubbornly onto them. i think, recently, that's how i ended up viewing moon bleached bird. sorry for rambling, hahaha... thank you so much once again for enjoying this little fic! i hope the world is being kind to you, anon <3