thank you. hmm... how do i say this? it's a lot more simplistic and "straightforwardly, explicitly pornographic" than my later, more narrative-heavy works. the characters lack nuance, down to me deliberately wielding amy's eventual offspring as a laser-focused plot device. i also think i could have chosen a more compelling color palette (though i feel the same about ruin--in devastation i was really struggling, due to mostly-reusing the palette out of some kind of stubborn desire for continuity).

elysium was my first original story, and i am grateful for everything i learned while working on it. yet i have since realized that it might be more thrilling for me to create more sex-centric stories in a fandom context (due to most series i get into never depicting it), but it's not what i'm most passionate about when given total creative control.

above all else, i make what i want to see. and for me, it's not a question of balancing porn and plot... the plot is also the porn, in my eyes. the sex is meaningless to me without context. when i write convoluted ways for my characters to weaponize the shape of their desire against each other, it is because my penis is hard about it.

at the end of the day, i can't control which aspects of my works people resonate with, and i'm therefore still flattered by interest in elysium. but my mental constitution is actually pretty frail, and it is easy for me to feel misunderstood by strangers on the internet. that's ultimately not anybody's problem but my own.