LOL I feel u anon...tbh I get really annoyed in general when ppl insinuate that appreciating types of stories etc is necessarily because of a desire to be reflected in a 1-to-1 personal representation level. I think our identities and experiences, whether of gender, background, ethnicity, sexuality, etc, can definitely inform what we immediately connect with or sympathize with, and what we consider "indulgent," but it's only one factor, and the way in which it informs us is complex!

I also feel like focusing the appeal of certain BL and GL works down to just what the gender of the gay couples are feels very over simplified to me, in a way that makes me kind of sad. There's a lot of artistry that goes into these works, both the "trashy" sexy series as well as the Critically Acclaimed Serious series, the types of characters, art styles, tastes of the creators, that inform why someone may or may not like certain works or be drawn to certain pairings etc...everyone, even people into "basic" popular content, has a sense of personality and taste that informs what they desire to get out of what they read/watch/create. I think Style is a big part of what makes something feel like what it is, more than a list of tropes or character identities....I think this is what people were trying to grasp at back when people were still talking about "girl yaoi" and "boy Yuri" etc--aesthetic & cultural signifiers and artistic styles and approaches trigger our tastes I guess more than delineated lines of character gender than people would like to admit I think