THANK YOUUUU, I FEEL BETTER NOW!! <3

Akutagawa is just so.. idk how to say it, he just resonated with me so much?? I'm already a sucker for those "edgy emo" aesthetic type of villains but his journey just.. fascinates me. from wanting to be accepted by Dazai to starting to respect Atsushi so much he's willing to make a promise with him that he won't kill a single soul for the next 6 months. he's so dear to me, the first two times that I cried in BSD were when Akutagawa revealed he has a lung disease and when he got killed by Fukuchi (yes, even Nikolai's "death' didn't make me cry but that's probably mostly because I had a hunch he'd be back anyway.. not that I didn't with Akutagawa BUT HIS MOMENT WAS SO MUCH OK)

and don't even get me started on Beast Akutagawa.. I get emotional every time I think about him..

I am so excited to see how Akutagawa's journey unfolds and his relationship with Atsushi progresses, if we ignore everything Nikolai and Fyodor related, then its probably what I'm looking forward to most in all of BSD!! <3

I CAN IMAGINE SO MANY REACTIONS I could imagine him running over to him and reentacting the "oh my dear friend, I missed you!!" scene but quieter and while hugging him instead of taking his hands.. however, maybe he'd feel even more trapped than he already did before.. he already experienced grief from losing him, he knows Fyodor's death wouldn't free him, and despite having experienced that, he's back, as if nothing happened?? I don't think he'd have a stable reaction to that.. or maybe he'd even react similarly to how he did when Fyodor died.. quiet.. sombre.. needing to process whatever is going on..

but my absolute favorite hc that someone presented to me a few days ago is him thinking that he's hallucinating Fyodor being alive and feeling even more trapped because of that..

no matter what, he will never be free from his feelings for Fyodor..

BUT SERIOUSLY there are so many ways I think he could react, I can't pinpoint a single possibility.. but that's what makes his character so great.. he's unpredictable..