note: well i did have a similar idea in the Document but honestly i'm not sure when i'll ever get to it so it's a good time as any to make it into a drabble right..? ahaha... messy and unedited as always, might post on ao3 later, yada yada, thank you for the super adorable prompt ehehe

Ivan's a serial dater. He gets a girlfriend on Monday, dumps her by Friday, and on the next Monday, he's escorting some poor idiot to class. The cycle repeats. The shortest record was two days.

It's one of the stupidest things Till's ever seen, because Ivan must have gone through half of the student body at this point, and he still gets confessions on a weekly basis. It just doesn't make sense. Good looks can only carry someone so far.

"But it's not about Ivan's looks," Mizi says, after wringing the dregs of her juice box to death. "I mean, he's smart too, right? Top of the class, handsome, considerate, kind—"

"Are we talking about the same person here?" Till says, to clarify.

"He only acts like that around you because you're his friend," Mizi says. That, meaning his propensity for licking Till's ears and biting his cheek like a rabid dog. "But around other people, he's like—you know the student body president in K-dramas? Like that! He's second male lead kind of nice."

"That's a lie," Till says. "He's leading them on. He—"

A burst of giggles drag his attention away. He doesn't even need to look to know why, but he's some sort of masochist, and his head turns without his input. Yeah, no fucking surprise there: it's Ivan, smiling at his newest girlfriend of the week. She has her hair in a high ponytail, too high to mask the flush in her ears and cheeks. It's like watching a fucking train wreck.

"I don't understand," Till says, after they pass out of sight. "Why does he do that? He obviously doesn't have any interest in any of them."

"How do you know that?" Mizi says. She's a romantic.

"C'mon, Mizi. It's Ivan. He doesn't even know what love is. As if he gives a fuck about trying to find it."

"That's rude," Mizi says, frowning.

"I'm just saying," Till mutters.

"I don't know, Till. I don't think you're giving him enough credit. No one ever badmouthed him after breaking up with him, so it's not like he treats his dates badly."

That's true. Say whatever about Ivan, but there's no denying that his reputation is flawless. Everyone comes out of their short-lived relationship with Ivan parroting the same thing: that he was nice, that he was sweet, that he was a good boyfriend but more of an experience to enjoy rather than a person to fall in love with.

Ugh. It just gives Till a scummy feeling, that's all. Who even says that about another person?

"It's weird," is what Till ends up saying.

Mizi blinks at him behind her glasses. "Why does it matter?"

"It doesn't. It's... an observation. He should reject them if it isn't going to last."

"Right," Mizi says. "But why does it matter?"

"You said I'm his friend," Till says, aggravated. "Can't a friend. Care. For that kind of thing."

Mizi's frown deepens, before enlightenment strikes to clear it away. A feeling of foreboding pools in Till's gut, like watching a tree topple the wrong way.

"Wait," Till says. "I didn't mean it like—"

"Are you worried?" Mizi asks. "Oh, I should've known! You're worried Ivan will get his feelings hurt! That's so sweet!"

"I'm not worried," Till hisses, looking around frantically. Thankfully, the classroom is still bustling with conversation, and he grabs Mizi's hand to—fuck, stress the urgency of this to her. "Listen. I'm not worried. Ivan doesn't—Ivan doesn't even have feelings, okay?"

"You keep saying mean things, but I know how you really feel," Mizi says. There's a sparkle in her eyes.

He's doomed.

"Mizi," he says. "Mizi, no. Listen to me."

"I'm listening to you," she says. "Your heart, that is, since you don't want to admit the truth to yourself. It's okay! No secrets between friends, right?"

This is seriously not the impression he wanted to give to her. Now he has to figure out a way to convince her that she's wrong without making her think he's some sort of—misguided tsundere, or some shit. A valid reason to care about Ivan's dating spree. There has to be something to persuade her.

Nothing.

Okay, last resort it is.

"Even if you're right," Till says, to her manic applause and squeal, "shush! Shh! Even if you're right!"

"I am," Mizi says.

"I said even, even if you're right, you can't tell anyone about this, alright? Not even Sua."

"But I tell Sua everything."

Till knows; it's a problem. If he tells Mizi a secret, then it spreads to Sua, which then makes its way to Ivan via Sua and Ivan's shared power of eye telepathy or whatever. He can't have that happen. If Ivan is under the impression that Till cares about him, then Ivan will use it to tease him until he dies. That's just the type of freak Ivan is.

"For me," Till says. "Please. Don't say a thing."

"But you like him," Mizi whispers, eyes wide. "Don't you? That's why you care so much."

Till releases a heavy exhale. His failed first love, trying to convince him that he's in love with his best friend slash archnemesis since childhood. There are probably shit KBS dramas made about stuff like this.

"Don't say anything," Till says, instead of bothering to confirm her delusions. "I mean it."

"Love is a very serious thing," Mizi says, nodding. "Okay! You have my word."

Thank god for one bullet dodged. "Thanks."

"But you will tell me, right? When you and Ivan get together."

Till opens his mouth to reply, then pauses. Something about that phrase.

"When?" he repeats.