⭐ frequently asked questions (favorite movies, books, etc):
http://xrafstar.monster/codex
⭐ serious weakness faq
https://xrafstar.monster/blog/serious-weakness-aftermath
512
Nameless Grub · 7d
thank you for putting me on to scrivener. after many sporadic attempts at writing over the years im finally starting to wisen up and find some kind of way to sculpture. the gems of advice or pointers you've put out there about the creative process have really helped shift my mindset. notable analogies you've put forth about threading moments together and working from a kitchen cabinet of ideas but also the idea to work with your body, work with your energy levels. love hearing about your creative process and hope you will share more process notes in the future. hope you're well.
Nameless Grub · 6d
im not sure if u have before but can u talk a bit about the erohazard symbol ? ur works rlly resonate w me but something abt the symbol just blew me away, so much so i knew immediately i wanted it either branded, tattooed or scarred in my skin. id just love to hear more about it, what it means, the history, etc… if thats something youve thought abt before
the symbol is by Evan, as part of a series of INNOCENT signs indicating zone hazards/conditions
like many effective symbols, it has been independently discovered in many cultures throughout history
like anything with X’s or O’s or smiley faces
i'm sure there's other symbols that combine these elements
but Evan made this one working on our game. i'm glad you like it. you can see the other signs here. very grateful to the INNOCENT propaganda wing. <3
the feeling is what it is
Nameless Grub · 1mo
i lied, but this is more of a personal thank you. I've read serious weakness enough times to have 580 highlights in my reading app. A few particular phrases highlighted into obscurity: but the smell of fresh copper intrudes, in this world without connection, because love isn't real. im so tired of it. Like what you said about guns. one way. withholding is power. im clearly bad at the last, but i figured mindless praise wouldn't be minded. You filled a little bit of my souls cavity.
Nameless Grub · 11d
wanted to leave a note: i'm not sure if my interpretation is entirely what was intended (which i ultimately value, the author's sentiment is important to me) but 18 foot leash is one of the most beautiful, terrible, real depictions of how love changes you. i started crying after reading it. it captures the violence of falling in love, especially when one feels beyond repair. not to of course detract from anything else; i just think it all ties together, reaching this message that is so human or perhaps animal, even insect. also cried during it yet not from emotion but from how gross it was, like when your eyes water and lips pucker after eating a sour lemon. i mean this in the most admiring way possible. what a wordsmith you are. it's insane how you thread this through anal coffee. i love everything about your xrafstar. i will never forget this, thank you
you have no idea how much this ask means to me…
it’s basically the story i expected no one else to be into, but very personal to me, for a long time.
it can be hard to reach for love, if someone feels they only deserve addiction. this lonely, hollow substitute, endlessly recycled, pleasure without joy…anal coffee!!
i’m working on more leash:
-one is done and i’ll post it sometime, very short and peripheral, part of the same timeline. it’s awful
-the other takes place in a more…INNOCENT time. a reboot of the same characters. exploring the threads started in 18 foot leash. ano-sadistic solipsism, the soul versus addiction, NEW AND EXCITING BOY TECHNOLOGIES…
eyes watering…that’s the perfect duality of 18 foot leash, the longing that nausea can hide, always humiliating and devaluing the beauty that could save your soul, until you can’t–dripping for the worst and best reasons.
thank you for enabling my madness…thank you for loving xrafstar!! 😭😭💜💜💜
Nameless Grub · 7d
I work at a bookstore and want to bring in Serious Weakness, but we can't because it doesn't show up at Ingram. Do you have any plans for that? (KDP titles can be made to appear there AFAIK)
I would love that. But I'm reading that KDP expanded distribution is a scam that basically just lowers my royalties--and publishing on Ingram requires buying a new ISBN, which wouldn't be cost-effective unless more bookstores shared your good taste. But I really don't know much about that side of things. If there's an affordable/free way of getting you the book, let me know! ✌️
Nameless Grub · 13d
i fucking love the new game gonna go pre-atone so many times wahhhhh
Nameless Grub · 12d
Hello! New fan here and the eggs you've implanted in my brain are commanding me to draw fanart. Today's question is if you're alright with people making prints of fanart for personal display? Just wanted to be 110% sure.
My friend is also curious about if fanfic/transformative works are permitted. We are both thoroughly infested with eggs. Thank you and I hope you're having a good day!
Nameless Grub · 15d
i love your work and your presence on here i just want to know how r u doing? i get so worried abt grub lives;;;;;; ;-; ur book looks so good im so excited :3
aw, thanks for asking. i've been good. my body is always a little fucked but i’m hanging in there! the weather is warming up which is energizing for coldblooded vermin like me. been having really nice conversations with friends, and working on random experiments which is good for my chaos brain. we had vermont curry and i danced around…i dance all the time…in everything i do. have a nice day 💜🐛🐛🐛🌦️
Nameless Grub · 18d
just wanted to say i got SO excited when i read the perfect tense lore tidbit about him being very attached to his psychiatrist/handler. mentor relationships are the horneyest thing ever to me and so much media just brushes that aspect off or tastefully “sublimates” it (the coward’s way out). every “manipulated prodigy” type book movie whatever would be better with some pederastic nightmare jerkoff fuel. the guys in whiplash should have fucked. hannibal is untouchable. anyway i just have a strong suspicion that you will do me right with this one and i can’t wait. CTE has kept me VERY well fed also, love rubi so much, invert representation is so important. a “please like me” model student who is also a bad boy who has all the power and yet none?!?! STOPPPP
THANK YOU that's the MEAT right there UH HUH HAROOOO ARF ARF ARF
fortunately for you I'M ALL IN. “pederastic nightmare jerkoff fuel” is my MIDDLE NAME. and I know for a fact, the mentor angle is very important to the artists. I have been and will be WRITING THE SHIT out of it. ABA therapists will be taking notes!!
thank you for your faith in me...I have a novella in progress that is 100% about a guy and his handler and it will probably give you a very nice heart attack. I hope to start posting excerpts from it this year.
the guys in whiplash SHOULD have fucked. god!! Hannibal pristine, YUP.
Rubicon yessss, he’s so special…I tend to write characters who have this split self hovering over them...it’s the most interesting…new CTE this week probably! and it’ll be a scorcher…
Nameless Grub · 15d
i had a dream i came across torture works in a barnes and noble. all the other books surrounding it on the shelf took on a lumpy, saturated texture, with ribbed tubes and complex tissues sprouting out of their covers. i felt physically ill when i opened it, like a slime was building up in my larynx. the dream-people i was with were pressuring me to buy it. a rousing endorsement from my subconscious!
Nameless Grub · 20d
If you had the chance to do a Secret Lair release for Magic, which 4-5 cards would you like to re-illustrate?
Nameless Grub · 21d
heres a take had today which is that ftms and mtfs, in gay male spaces, have the ultimate solidarity, because we're both put into the pussyboy/ boywife category
its the inescapable label of the boyfail. one is eternally boyfail for trying to be a boy but having a pussy and teh other is eternally boyfail for wanting to be a girl. and theyre both expected to be the ones getting fucked
trianon is the mascot of both for this exact reason
Nameless Grub · 21d
I'm so sorry if this has been answered before!! But do you plan on having torture works as a pdf/epub? I want to read it so badly but I unfortunately live with people who won't be very comfortable with the cover. :(
Yes! I'm waiting for the layout department to finish the epub, then it will be on amzn, and on itchio w/ PDF. Meanwhile, subscribers to my patreon can get the PDF anytime.
For people living in sensitive environments, the cover can be painted with black paint, or creatively defaced in other ways, or ripped off and hidden under the mattress. And it contributes to the illicit, adolescent thrill. Thank you for playing <3
Nameless Grub · 1mo
Oh also- how much do you read? Daily, weekly, whatever scale. I've been inquiring this for a lot of the people I respect. After a seizure I've struggled to read dense, meaningful text quite a bit. So I've been wondering how much this will cripple my want to understand the world and make art about my loving disgust for it
i read nonstop as a kid which gave me some stats. i read pretty randomly now. i can go months without reading a proper book, then read a bunch. movies and music are a much more regular fixation for me. it's hard to find books that i like. i tend to enjoy scifi horror or any kind of tense locked in scenario. or the stuff i need to write cuz i can't find it.
there is always a way to make art. it's like water. even if there are challenges, nothing can cut you off. but it feels really bad to have setbacks, and i'm sorry about the seizure. i've had a lot of physical issues, some that kept me from making meaningful things for years, and i had to learn to make things with my body, not against it. so the way people talk about art might not make sense for you, but there are infinite things you can discover for yourself. it's the process, and everyone has one.
Nameless Grub · 1mo
can you elaborate on the "people play games to be punished" line? As someone heavy into game studies it doesn't really parse. A lot of your games, despite the flux between decisions and their consequences or lack of, feel almost revelatory in that agency at times. Games are inherently masochistic to a point, but I would think we can seek that masochism for reasons beyond punishment. or do i need to actually read Foucault to parse? but also ty for the amazing work porp