I had a dream that was somehow inspired by your work despite not having any of your characters or settings. In the dream I awoken on my couch and was partially blind and found it hard to move. I heard people talking in another room and suddenly a model-attractive, blonde haired man and woman ran out of my bedroom. I followed them out to the communal hallway but they'd climbed the stairs and were throwing objects at me. At this moment I realised I'd been turned into something like a blind, cyborg hermit crab, crippled and partially blind, with no limbs but 4 short legs. The couple then ordered food, and when the delivery driver showed up, the stabbed her. She ran across the street and I followed her to a glowing ritual circle, where she did some sort of spell that turned her into a massive whale, with exposed organs and bones and cybernetic parts. She then inhaled deeply to try and swallow the aggressive couple, but they turned into 4 smaller white whales or dolphins, and she choked on them then exploded. The dream then shifted to me watching these events unfold on my TV, with my friends, in my sitting room which was now made of red and blue latex furniture. One of my friends commented that you had written this movie, and I woke up.

the maximum softness capable of being exerted by all machinery is so deliciously painful. what if someone built you to be a gun and then hated you for it? what happens when you, the one not masked to amuse or comfort or put at ease, show through, and prove yourself right in such an awful way? vindictive, vindication. you know they hate you, but no one says it, and that's worse. the fake woman, the dangerous woman, the not-a-woman-at-all thing. you're so attuned, you can see what people are not saying. thank you.

today i realized that i dont have to use a language that oppresses and divides me and i can just call myself a xrafstar instead bc that covers everything, bc none of my issues can be easily unwound from the tangle of who i am and are in fact nebulously soaked through with The Ooze. i no longer have to submit to an inadequate self-description that wants to cut me to pieces and label me and in fact justifies the torture imprisonment and murder of so many like me, nor do i have to reaffirm an essential humanity that is nowhere to be found. and honestly i just fit the description in general bc i am also addicted to sugar sex and violence. insert "on all levels except physical" meme. my greatest dream is that in addition to making me hairy, smelly and sterile hrt will give me a beautiful set of sensitive antennae with which to smell and feel the wondrous world, and a set of wings would also be nice. but i can wait and settle for lesser erohazards in the meantime. this is the most free ive ever felt in my life. and it's all thanks to you :-]