I leave an offering at your altar o haruspex. Once I got so into a video game that I hardly walked at all for two weeks. As it turns out, you need to walk around for your digestive system to function properly. Consequently, two weeks of greasy shitty gamer food impacted hard into my rectum like a concrete apple. I spent hours trying to pass it and fissured my anus from the strain. At this point the advice is to go to the hospital so that the nurses can help you birth the thing. Instead, I got a butter knife and stuck it in there to start prying bits off. (Not medical advice.) Thankfully this worked and I eventually it slid out in big chunks like apple slices. This happened at my mom's house and nobody ever found out, thank all that is holy. I am however still haunted by the UTI I caught from doing this in a half-full tub, thinking that this would help soften the stool. What do you read in my entrails?

P.S. Tub was cleaned and knife destroyed.

i wanted to thank you for writing the way you do and about the things you do because it made me realize there’s really no rules when it comes to creative work and i can type in run-on sentences like i’m trying to puke all the words out in a single breath because that’s actually super sick and it’s how my stupid brain works anyways and if we’re honest it makes text so much more interesting to read. i was actually able to finish something short and dirty and sweet that’d been knocking around my brain for months-years because of this so thank you very much from the bugs in my brain to yours. 🪱🖤✨

“whiplash ballet medfet” is all my dreams coming true at once. cant believe you’ve done this. ALSO i think… and have thought for a long time… that trianon and nina from black swan would be friends. they have retard angel twin dna and they are both fantasy autistic torture victims who metabolise all evil to fuel their own transformations. gay stuntmen rolling through life changing injuries. cockroach girls! nina’s world is way more bleak imo. she need friendship or the honest/direct violence she fantasises about... or both! this may very well mean nothing to you i just got excited when i saw ballet talk. thanks in advance for all the fucking incredible shit you’re planning!!!!!

Cancer Prize contribution: I have turned things around for myself gastrically but one wildcard is that I have bad period shits that sometimes tear my anus and cause confusion/fusion between my cunt blood and blood from my glass bones paper skin ass. However, Cancer truly speaks to me in his precarious mix of household experiences! I spent the back half of my childhood in an outwardly normal middle class home but with torture and neglect, and I had off and on hygiene problems (side note: the dad in Your Mother Has Fallen Out of Love is my dad, never seen or felt that psychology so strongly in a story, thank you from the bottom of my heart). So I would go to my good school in my nice school uniform reeking of bacterial vaginosis, trying to keep my legs closed all day, skipping lessons and not doing anything just hiding in the toilet because it was safe and private.

It was also mandatory for students to write with cartridge-loaded fountain pens unless they had an extenuating circumstance. I wanted to do everything the real children were doing so I tried it but I am an inveterate autistic chewer and kept biting through the end of the pen/cartridge and it would explode in my mouth and one time I swallowed a lot of ink and had to go throw up and later had vivid blue diarrhoea, and while I was at the mirror trying to scrub the ink out of my mouth some older girls came in and they regarded me coolly and laughed at me behind their hands. Please enjoy the HOT SHAME of this memory

i really like how rubicon is just allowed to be presented as unambiguously sexy and desirable to many within the specific context of his story. it doesnt justify anything he does (though ofc you've long since moved on from petty and simplistic morality fables), it's just there. i dont know that ive ever seen any other story that is explicitly about "this wheelchair-bound crossdressing castrated burn victim is the sexiest creature alive," because people who do find that attractive are considered perverts (see: the fan response to people wanting to fuck curly from mouthwashing in his post-burn body), and really i think that's somehow crueler than just simply acknowledging him as a being with sexual desires in his own right. im glad that he sucks, and im glad that he's sexy. may he make everything explode forever

in response to a question about muscles you said "the primary modality of physical cultivation in my universe is through dance" and that + the rest of it is driving me crazy. i am a former ballet dancer and i think ballet is more like something that you would make up to torture twinks than something real. i did other kinds of dance after but most of them were kind of the same, just desperately throwing my body into pleasing shapes, pain, failing and never stopping. ballet was the cruelest though. its espoused values of purity and gentleness can tell you how fucked up and evil it is. it eats toddlers. have you ever seen a foot stretcher? i used one. i danced en pointe really badly and theres nothing sadder and more pathetic than that. i still miss it. if you dont cut ur toenails super short your pointe shoes will push them back and make them turn purpleblack and fall off. i could go on about this for hours. i would love to know your thoughts. kisses