Maybe some stubborn part of me just wants to reject the offer of either one. If I deserve it or want it, I'll have to put in the effort for it. Even though I say that, I've been critically low on energy before to feel like I can't do much more than get up out of bed for the day and do what's out of habit. But I have a way for energy now, now it's just pushing for the improvements and in what direction. Never give up, we may fall but never give up. Sometimes I just repeat that to myself in my head.

I think both are possible, the emotional mechanics one is just difficult to pinpoint and grow to be able to read that well. The happiness all the time one would be difficult to truly feel that way, all the time. Doesn't mean other emotions can't be underlying. Happiness being the dominant emotion with others mixed in. I do think the emotional mechanics one would be interesting though