To me, grief is the ache in my heart that longs for something--or someone--I know I can never have again. The emptiness when I am reminiscing past memories reeled back in the back of my head just to realize that there will be no more additional reels feels bittersweet, as at the same time I'm also remembering on how happy those days were. The laughter, the tears, the warmth of those joyful moments, and the heart-breaking pain of loss mixed into one. Thus, grief itself is not solely sadness. It is very, very complex and it also fluctuates over time. Sometimes, my chest feels heavy--like it is crushed by a ton of weight and crushed into pieces. And sometimes, it also feels like a gentle reminder that even though they're no longer with me--or although the moment had passed, they always have this special spot deep inside my heart. Therefore, the definition of grief is quite paradoxical in my dictionary; it is not only sorrow but also joy--that even in my blues, there is still a ray of sunshine of love to be found.

Although... it is in a form of memory.