Thank u for your response! I agree with your tweet about yeosaxg and your response too. My ask wasn’t to disagree with your thoughts on that 😊 Ive seen self insert in many different types of fandoms including kp0p so I don’t think it’s an issue as long as boundaries aren’t crossed. I also wanted to comment on it because I do see people in our fandom shit on self insert and labeled it as a gf stan thing but turn around and do the same with kp0p yaoi. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s not a bad thing because it’s all fan fiction. People shouldn’t be so judgmental about it and it really comes off as policing behavior but I don’t think you’re like that.

You’ve mentioned how a lot of people subconsciously self insert when writing fan fic. Especially when they’re depicting one of the members as more submissive, or a bottom, etc. but I’ve read a ton of fan fics and majority of writers self insert to a certain degree. It’s not always when it comes the type of dynamics, but also their sexuality, characteristics of their looks and personality and kinks. I’ve noticed that pattern from all different types of writers for all different types of ships. It’s called fan fiction for a reason, it’s not real. As long as people don’t project their fictional ideas on to the members in real life then I don’t know why we’re acting like it’s a huge issue, especially when the people claiming it’s an issue do it themselves.

It’s important to address this topic with clarity, even if it means saying things some people might not want to hear. Gay relationships are meant to explore the dynamics between men. That’s the heart of what makes MLM (men loving men) spaces what they are. The consistent feminization of one member in these dynamics, especially in fandoms and ships, doesn’t come out of nowhere. A lot of it stems from how certain individuals, particularly cis women and trans men, project their own experiences into these spaces. Trans men, having often been socialized differently before transitioning, can carry internalized ideas about femininity that they struggle to fully reconcile with their manhood. When they engage with MLM spaces, it’s not uncommon to see that unresolved femininity projected onto one character in a ship. For example, someone like Wooyoung might end up being overly feminized in fanworks, becoming the "weaker" or "submissive" one. This tendency doesn’t just "happen"—it often mirrors the trans creator’s personal experience of masculinity, which might still be shaped by their connection to femininity. Let’s be honest: MLM spaces are not meant for this kind of dynamic. They’re about celebrating the relationships between men as equals, not recreating heteronormative stereotypes with one partner as the "woman" stand-in. When trans men enter these spaces, they sometimes disrupt that balance because they’re still navigating their own relationship with masculinity and how it fits into their identity. While I recognize that everyone deserves a place where they feel represented, it’s also fair to say that MLM spaces were created for men who are already secure in their masculinity, cis gay men, to be specific since all of you are fetishizing us cis gay men. At the end of the day, it’s not about being exclusionary for the sake of it. It’s about preserving the integrity of what MLM spaces are supposed to be. If trans men find it difficult to engage in these spaces without projecting their own femininity, maybe it’s worth asking whether these spaces are the right fit for them in the first place. Gay cis men shouldn’t have to watch their narratives reshaped or diminished to accommodate those who aren’t fully aligned with the experiences these spaces were created to represent.