wow, i’m surprised that you clocked me because the continuity errors in worldbuilding between the first and second posted snipped are so bad hjdkflgsa

but yeah! it’s from the same universe that i am haphazardly piecing together as inspiration hits. it’s csj-focused i would say, i don’t know if you can call it ebs* if khj and kjy never technically meet (at least, as of my current plan for the fic -- if i can wrangle a way for the three of them to feasibly meet up, maybe i’ll implement it) and i haven’t decided yet what either of their relationships with csj is. i don’t want to spoil too much (unless anyone wants to come into my dms and help me get this into a semblance of coherence), but it’s a high fantasy, sci-fi setting and i’ll split it up into two parts to make it a little easier:

csj and khj: i’m going back and forth between the idea of having them be two kids from a closed institution in one of the last habitable parts of the world they come from or kids living on a generation ship/space station. it’s pretty dystopian (they don’t know about the current state of the world/anything outside of what the academy shares with them, and they don’t know what awaits them after graduation). their current life consists of a lot of ambiguous lessons, physical and skills training, and it’s also highly controlled and surveilled. despite all of that, they manage to grow up pretty well** and, to borrow pacrim terms, are basically drift compatible (no drifting involved here, but [redacted for spoilers]).

csj and kjy: it’s actually kind of hard to talk about this without spoiling much, but when csj and kjy are together (as in, in the same location), it’s on this planet that is entirely covered by oceans. the planet was colonized by human settlers (if you’ve ever read the waves by ken liu, it might help with the understanding the complications of the timelines with the planet and also csj’s childhood with khj), and kjy is the descendant of one of them (ie. she was born on this planet). i’m still working out the details because as much as i love underwater settings, the logistics makes my head hurt, but just assume that a bunch of technological advancements has made it possible for humans to live underwater (not only in closed, dry underwater environments but actually live as aquatic animals for most part) and also that kjy also has some adaptations that csj does not have that makes her more suitable for her living environment. time and age is harder to place at this point, but they meet after csj and khj are no longer together (again, physically) and are both adults. csj joins kjy’s colony, but csj doesn’t really get close to anyone else because she’s an ‘outsider’ here, so she mainly just hangs out with kjy and be emo over khj.

* this is somewhat of a lie because i absolutely do not have a brain worm for a scene where csj and kjy are making out and fantasizing about khj (it sounds fucked up but trust me on this, there’s no other conceivable way to make this work at the moment) but i just don’t know if i want to make that ‘canon’ since i’m not actually settled on the nature of anyone’s relationship right now
** this is somewhat of a lie as well because years down the line csj actually starts to process what growing up with an absolute lack of privacy did to her (“even the things we thought were our secrets, i think they knew about it [...] they let us think we were so smart, when they were always two steps ahead.”)

thank you so much!!!!!!!!! rest assured, yeoreum will figure it out... soon. i want to dwell in this ambiguity a while longer. to have yeoreum go oh. oh. and realize that she’s jealous of dayoung and yeonjung because she also wants to be with them romantically wouldn’t do justice to gay friend group messy ambiguous friend(?)ships. not even fully sure if yeoreum knows she’s gay here, but she knows that dayoung and yeonjung are both ineffably important to her and maybe labeling the shape of that importance isn’t what’s most urgent here. i’m shaking trying not to spoil too much here (although i don’t think there are going to be any plot twists with this fic, it’s the journey that matters), but while yeoreum is puzzling over her feelings, i will say that yeonjung knows (something. specifically what, it’s not that clear). she’s going to wait for yeoreum to figure herself out though. as for dayoung? maybe she’s not as patient...

again thank you so much for this ahjdskfgdhjlk this fic means so much to me and i’m glad that you like it

aaa glad you liked it, i was nervous about the reception for this one ahldskjfd i do think that while lld seems to view gender in a very logical way, that’s because like khj says most of the battle is in her head. she has her own struggles, she just doesn’t show them very obviously and when she talks about it, it’s only when she’s already figured out how to put what she feels into a logical sequence of words, whereas we’re really trying to get into khj’s head with all the mess. from lld’s perspective, she’s also not seeing the struggle, other than those moments where khj is suddenly acting off. i wanted to try to tackle how, esp in the age where we’re trying to break down gender roles, there’s kind of a contradiction? with social dysphoria and all of that, how can you explain the discomfort of being perceived as certain way without tying it intrinsically to gender roles? and you kinda can’t separate it here, but i think the root here really isn’t about what they do but rather how they’re perceived / how they think they’re perceived, if that makes any sense? like w how khj treats lld, really nothing changes. even if lld had not come out to her, she still would’ve made the according observations and adjustments but what mattered to lld is how khj thinks about her in her head.

for their designations, i normally default to a/b!khj, b!csj, o!kjy, o!psb, b/o!lld, a/b!ndw, a!sjy, b!lyr, o!idy, a!uyj but i’m honestly curious to know what others might have in mind. it would cool to see people explore a/b/o wuju more tbh!

i don’t think i have specific standout lines in this fic that i particularly like but one thing i think is sort of important is this line towards the start: they’re both woefully aware of hyunjung’s inadequacy, she guesses, and luda must’ve known what she signed up for. i wanted to establish khj’s feeling of inadequacy from there very start. she likes lld a lot and is very happy to be with her but quite frankly has no idea how she pulled. lld likes her ofc and thinks it’s cute, but khj is still insecure not so much about losing her but about failing to be enough. i have a bunch of thoughts on various things that i wanted to include in this fic but honestly i’m still sorting through my thoughts on it. in a way, i think it’s a messy fic because it tries to tackle so many interwoven things, but that’s also the nature of this subject matter - you can’t really isolate elements to study them because they all affect each other.

also the part where khj is trying to tell lld and it’s distressing to her that lld is crying. it’s not a question at all if lld supports khj, but it’s still gonna suck to be broken up with (or to put their rs on a break, esp w her impending heat come up (i have a drafted scene for that, but it didn’t make the cut)). all around the situation sucks for both of them, but i don’t want to frame it in a way where being trans is the problem. it’s really not at all, but it does change things and sorting out who she is is stressful for khj. but it’s also just how things are and when she figures it out, it’ll get better. it’s a journey and this is just the start.

also! some songs i was listening to while working through this: where i took the title from, the text on the graphic, “i’m fighting in the dark trying not to break your heart” and “trust it’s not your fault can’t expect you to understand”

before i got into wjsn properly, i saw a mutual reply to a cc that said “seolbo rip” with “bona is [STRAIGHT]” and i think about that every time i think about seolbo which makes all serious thought leave my brain, it’s unfortunate. i don’t have any wips or ideas for them right now, but i do want to write them someday (or at the very least i plan to write triple a in the foreseeable future). i think you can’t go wrong with two pretty girls and they’re interesting, just that i don’t fully have their dynamic down because it feels like their genuine interactions happen where fans can’t see. if anyone would like to crash course me on them, i would appreciate it greatly

sorry for taking so long to get back to you! not too sure what you mean by meta here but i find evg fascinating to explore because they’ve (unfortunately) been through so much as a group -- leader change, (chinese) member hiatus and uh... misogyny. i don’t know why people are so obsessed with the thought that evg members secretly hate each other because even early on they were describing each other as family. i’m sure there are tensions from time to time (compared to other groups, the causes for tension may be more apparent to fans) but i think it’s part of their dynamic to be able to work through it. in a way, their bond is probably both due to and in spite of how they’ve been treated by the company and passersby -- unequal treatment is also a basis for resentment to build, but there’s solidarity in their shared experiences that brings them together.

miscellaneous evg thoughts: it’s cute how introverted they are (yiren went to china and took all their extroversion with them, rip) and while i refrain from commenting on idols’ sexualities generally, mia is probably sapphic (good for her), yuehua please stop screaming at her for picking up pride flags. their blindfolded first challenge is probably my favorite blindfolded challenge by any idol group, i can’t get over mia laughing at them struggling and onda trying to manhandle yiren into the correct positions. i haven’t actually watched that much content of them so i don’t have a lot to say but they’re very precious to me. (i’m yiren-biased, mia and onda are my wreckers)

i was re-reading qaisal’s fansite seolbo fic last night. i remember when i read it for the first time and finished around 3am and i remember thinking: oh, i understand why this is the most kudo-ed english work for wjsn. i also really like wherever you stray a lot (i’m a big canonverse fan). my mutuals write so well :] i feel awkward listing out all of them or listing some of them and then not remembering to list others, but i hope you guys know that i kinda still go very insane to receive kudos from authors that i think are super good and i recommend literally anything by them !! go through my following !!

also anything by manusinistra drives me insane, i think somewhere only we know was the first thing i read by them. other wjsn stuff, non-exhaustive at all: collision theory (and also other stuff by redexo !! my surprise when i clicked on their account and realized that i had read them before !!), in search of silver linings, degrees of grey, morning star. these aren’t wjsn but some stuff i found in my bookmarks: idol x actress 2kim, hogwarts loonacatcher found family, trust me on this, ongoing soccer au petalz

the one i’m work on right now is for fth. i don’t want to say too much in case i end up changing it drastically by the time i post but here’s the gist: angsty t4t idolverse but also a/b/o established relationship hyunlu that focuses on khj’s gender problems. i don’t think the idolverse part is very important tbh but i just wanted to have all the wujus living in roughly the same spaces and as a pack because that’s relevant for some parts. based on the one scene so far that and my current outline, it is indeed just khj being cockblocked by dysphoria (rip)

other than this, i think i need to write fluffy hyunlu, even though that’s not my strength. we’re in severe shortage of hyunlu fluff in this economy, something must be done about that

oh !! most of my fics on my old ao3 account were genfic, i’m a sucker for found family. a good number of my fics right now could technically be gen, it’s really up to interpretation whether they’re just friends or they could’ve been something more. idk, i’m arospec so i don’t know what is just people being really close and people with romantic chemistry (i have dating allegations with my close friends apparently). for things that are cleanly in the genfic category though, i currently have the following wips (that may never see the light): harin character study, kjy identity crisis, flamechaser au wjsn found family, canon compliant yb

some fics i’ve written that could be classified as gen, if you wanted: this yz, roommates sleeping together (literally), domesticity doesn’t have to be romantic and technically all we know is that they were friends.

hmm but i feel like most of the things i’ve researched are relevant enough to the fic they were for for them not be weird? i have bookmarks on chinese mourning poems, but that makes sense if you’re writing about specific funeral customs. i did a deep dive on a fictional flower (looking into the flowers it was based on, their significance, the care for them and also some etymological details) but it was for a hanahaki au, so it’s again very logical. the weirdest i can think of is maybe the time i was doing a bird hybrid au for someone, so i sort of ended up finding out more about birds than non-bird owners would like to know i think...

this is going to be harsh, but it is constructive and something i probably need to hear: “because it’s not for an assignment” is not a valid reason for sloppy work. not editing work is lazy for one thing, but more importantly it’s hindering my growth as a writer. editing should be a significant amount of my writing process and shying away from it is cutting corners and there’s no honor in that. when something is a first draft and unedited, it really shows. people can tell when there was an artistic vision but the execution ends up being too rough to live up to the potential. honestly, it’s really. fucking. wasted. to have a good concept but not put in enough effort to do it justice. and by doing this, i’m only ever going to sell myself short, because let’s be real: literally nothing i’ve posted lives up the actual standard that i’m able to hit. the things i’ve written for commissions? zines? i knew i could do better if i just reached out and asked for harsh but useful feedback, but i was willing to accept work that wasn’t as good as it could’ve been just because others said it was fine. i’m literally making up excuses right now about how for fests and zines, the mods/betas weren’t willing/able to give actual good feedback, but then what i should’ve done is been hard on myself and critiqued my own work as if i wasn’t the author rather than skimming through it for bare-minimum SPG and coherence and calling it a day. okay, so maybe self-indulgent fanfic doesn’t have to meet publishing standards, but it’s still self-sabotage if i’m never willing to push myself to get better. it doesn’t need to be at that high of a level, but omg i need to start flagging all my problematic paragraphs for fixing, rather than glossing over them...

my original answer was a little too personal, so let’s change that to something tangentially related: something i’ve been thinking about a lot is art, what it means to me and the artists that i know. being able to talk to someone with similar views on what art means is really special. it doesn’t have to be an identical view too; i’m friends with artists, writers, composers, performers and everyone’s art form gives them a differing outlook on things that’s eye-opening to find out about. not everyone holds the art they do to such a high regard and that’s fine, but it really is a privilege and an honor to be able to interact with/witness a piece that means a lot to the creator/performer.