I was slacking on art history classes uhhhhhhhh ... I remember really liking the general idea behind impressionism, including neo and post. Istg i used to remember the difference but its been such a long time!.. more than 5 years for sure 🥲 i do not remember shit and i kept slacking on history classes in college HAHA sorry to dissappoint any art history nerds out there.

Not sure what is considered to be "modern"! Is it digital? Digital is good. Historians, as they tend to name things the wrong names, they might call ai generations as modern art. Ai is bad. Is it how people call abstract art? Its been here since last century, not so modern. The Intouchables had a good take on abstract art, it was fun to watch.

One of eternal darkness main characters, Moray, was one of my sonas but i had no use for her at that point and didnt want to scrap her so i reused her for the story. Not sure if thats an insert as i dont consider her as me anymore but shes a stupid teen, just like me fr /j

I have two side sonas that are more like. Vent sonas with their own silly lore where they are tied to each other and both have different traits of me.

I keep wanting to do fandom sonas (recently thinking about wuwa resonators specifically) but i have major skill issues with both human and just complex designs in general. Even though i already have my human sona and i have a tacet mark placement in mind ever since wuwa release. Someday i will. I need to feed my wuwa brainrot even more.

Oh i love family trees!!!!!!

I used to have a character who was relative of another character (shared great grandparent) so i developed a tiny family tree for them! It just had sketchy uncolored heads just to make sure i keep similar features in two of them BUT im 100% sure i actually designed parents for one of them. Not sharing any details because the story was scrapped and characters do not belong do me anymore, and also characters lore-wise were my disgusting guilty pleasure i want to keep to myself.

With that being said, i actually really enjoy making parents for existing characters. The other way around is harder for me for some reason.

I did not have any need for family trees since then, but it might change soon idk

Also you made me rethink Mun's relationship with his mother thank you for this contribution into eternal darkness lore rewriting

I feel you on every level. Being queer is not an easy ride at all on every level on it.

But maybe gender exploration is actually worth it to cling on, because getting bits of euphoria after hearing pronouns you like is kinda nice ngl. Even if its only online, doesnt mean the euphoria you might get is fake. The world currently is already a very sad place, why not get some harmless fun in using a more comfortable way of expressing self differently at least online! Im so sure you'll find that 0,01% of people to support you and your journey. I support you!

Also for me exploring my own gender identity opened a completely new mindset of seeing things as gender neutral in a way that is comfortable to me. The only example that comes to mind is wearing make up - it used to feel like such a hyperfem thing, but now its just. Queer shenanigans mixed with self-expression. It doesnt make me look gender neutral, but it also doesnt cause dysphoria. Idk if my words make sense lmao. I wish i could speculate if i'd wear make up if i still identified as cis female or no, but i really think its my mindset that changed. I COULD ALSO BE DELULU ON THIS SO UMM-

Maybe i got off the question a bit, but yeah, for me too most people do not care, even i misgender myself without thinking. But somewhere in my head i still know im a silly keeature even if nobody else around me knows it. Thats my little joy. Even it causes me a lot of struggle. Still a little joy. Maybe you can find your little joy in it too.

Currently i am torn apart between non-binary and agender bc both feel like something pretty darn close, i just do not know which one 🥲 ik agender falls under enby umbrella but like. I want a specific label dang it!

I think 2 years ago i stumbled across the fact that i might be not as cis as i thought for my entire life and that was honestly so tiring at the point bc back then barely settled on the fact that im actually an acespec lesbian for the fucking second time (another story ig). Literally "aw shit here we go again" moment. I tried neoprns along with my birth gender prns in english, and also started trying they/them in my native, also still keeping my birth gender prns. I slowly kept they/them + neos. Last year i was identifying as demigirl, but this year my chest dysphoria (afab btw) started to getting worse along with my appearance concerns. Like i literally started to care so much. Not even funny. All that pointed out that even if i like being more on a fem side of appearance, im not a girl. Not even a demigirl. Just a keeature.

I live in an unsafe place. Not only queerphobic household, but the entire fucking country and government. I can only access online transitioning. I have no fashion sense and experience in picking/styling clothes. Also dysphoria hits hard sometimes. Also explaining shit to my cishet close irl friends is scary af.

Tldr i didnt overcome shit. I might be a silly keeature online, but, like one non-binary (seemingly afab) youtuber said, "i probably would be a just weird girl to you", and that is painfully true in my situation, especially irl. I just have to live the rest of my life with that ig. Unless i can find a wife online and maybe make it my way out of the country. jk im horrible as a lover even without this selfish plan. do not recommend.

Btw i dont even use they/them irl when i speak bc my native language is gendered and if i slip somewhere unsafe it might cause so many problems 😭😭 i really should master the way of speaking with no pronouns at some point.

Hmmm i dont have a singular super fav one atm! I like lots of things and my mood changes so often. One week i adore that specific cs character and next week i look at them like "why are you this cs specifically what the reason behind this i will void you" and another week i will be "damn that one oc i own might be cool as this cs" lmao

I actually own some cat-based creatures! I usually label them as private species, as they were specifically commissioned to be cs, but i got permission from the previous owner to fully private them. I dont talk abt them that much and they are hidden on my th bc they are. Not super unique so i decided to keep them to myself. My babies are small and tiny and the world is big and scary rn :З

As for public cs ‐ its too much of responsibility and interactions for me, cant handle that 💔