I am extremely touch starved in general but at the same time I'm terrified of someone touching me because that's just how badly I dislike my physical appearance. I might be able to handle it if I had a few days of warning, like if we planned to meet up somewhere or something like that, and could prepare for it. But then I have no idea what kind of touch I'll like, I never had my hair played with. The last time someone gave me some affection, and where it wasn't out of pity during a funeral, was at least 8 years ago and I was too anxious to enjoy it.