i have like ONE main goal (this is a long one)

uh basically i wanna draw more contentious art,, im always embarrassed talking about it because its taboo :D THE THING IS i already made a thread about this and.. people were very supportive!! but i wasn't that specific in what taboo stuff i wanna draw !! i mostly said noncon and uh . i think people are generally okay with that BUT WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE IDDKKKKK so full disclosure, like .. so uhhhhh uuuuuhhhmmmm okay;fuck you RRRAAAAGGHH whys it so hard to say . i keep thinking of ways to say it but i just end up stalling and adding prior context to “lessen the blow” uh

I WANT TO DRAW REALLY FUCKED UP SHIT like, noncon is one of them, right, but i ALSO want to draw stuff like ageplay/cubs and maybe incest or other fucked up stuff?? idk . i only realized i really wanted to draw stuff like this until after i started getting suggestions for my sona via retrospring and SOME OF THEM kinda triggered something inside me like one of them said “i wanna molest her while she's sleeping~ >:3” and another said my sona lying down with “a pacifier and open diaper while nsfw shenanigans are going on” and i was like aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA i wanna draw these so bad .i adore these types of suggestions

anyway the only reason why i havent drawn stuff like that yet is because 1, i have wips i SHOULD do before starting new projects, 2, because im afraid people will hate me for it, and 3, idk where to put that art because every art mutual i know who draws cubs gets suspended sooner or later so i think i should just put that stuff on baraag or something (i already have a baraag account) so i can just have a full uncensored gallery there. i was also considering bluesky or itaku but idk to what extent they allow that stuff

hmmhm good question,, just for brevity, i'm gonna interpret this question as asking to what extent i would draw my sona having rough sex, alright ? ok so like

technically i DON"T KNOW right now- i haven't drawn a line yet, so there's a gray area. i know for a fact i wouldn't draw my sona getting violently beaten/bruised or in excessive pain, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, i'm COMPLETELY OKAY with her getting noncon'd !! uhhhh i still feel like this is still really abstract and hard to explain so imma just rapid-fire a few things i know i'm okay with

i think my sona crying during sex is hot. my sona having sex with someone who's larger than her is awesome (especially if their cock is a little too large for her, but maybe not TOO big). being roughly handled like a sex toy is cool (though i think it'd be difficult! she's small but not THAT small so realistically you'd have to hold her with both hands if you're trying to use her like a fleshlight). grabbing and pulling her tail is awesome. hair pulling is a maybe because i don't find it that hot. grabbing roughly and groping is hot. my sona being bitten is really hot (i get a ticklish/tingly feeling all over my body if i get bitten so she'd experience this too). noncon including forced oral is hot (including gagging and choking on cum is fine),,,,,,, uhhhhhh sex toys and anal plugs/beads are fine, anal sex is a maybe because i'm not disgusted by it but i prefer vaginal (i probably wouldn't draw her having ROUGH anal sex) and uh .. ,.., ., .,.,.,........... yeah idk there's just so many different things

if you have a specific thing you wanna know if i'm okay with, you can just ask ! i doubt i'd be offended or disgusted by anything you'd come up with . at the end of the day my sona is a fictional character so like whatever

NO!!! NOPENOPENOPE i wanna keep art as a hobby, i feel like i can enjoy it better that way, uhh

also i'm not even majoring in art! i don't plan on doing art professionally, which only leaves freelancing (which is what i think you meant anyway, doing nsfw commissions and stuff like full-time) but that's a NOTORIOUSLY risky financial choice and like.. well uhhhh . another thing is that i am a pretty social person irl, i have a lot of friends, and my whole family practically works in the same industry so we know a lot of people, and they know us, so,, imagine i start doing art full-time. i'm gonna have so many people asking me what's my new job and i just.. won't be able to tell them?? telling them i do art is just ASKING for people to go "oh let me see!!" and then saying i draw porn (ESPECIALLY CONTENTIOUS FURRY PORN) is basically suicide, so realistically, i would either have to distance myself from them which is weird and suspicious and i don't wanna do that, or i'd have to lie to them, which i don't wanna do either!!

IN SUMMARY i think doing art full-time is a bad idea ! i already have a part-time job that's completely unrelated to art and might get a better position in the company i work at after i graduate uni so art might just be "the thing i do for fun in my free time" indefinitely

realistically not anytime soon! i haven't done commissions (i've technically done commissions before, just not on this account) but like . idk how to word this

i have multiple reasons why i don't wanna do commissions! like generally, i like to have full artistic freedom and commissioning kinda feels like sacrificing a bit of that for money if that makes sense, like,, i kinda just wanna draw what i wanna draw ?! and also i KINDA DON"T LIKE THE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE OF feeling indebted to someone, especially with an obligation to get things done "as reasonably quickly as possible" like . if someone commissions me i'm gonna have this looming feeling AND AND y'all can be so nice and be like "take as much time as you want :)" but realistically you wouldn't want to wait a year for a drawing and my work ethic is so bad like idk. i feel like my timeliness has been getting better but i still feel like i might struggle doing commissions in a timely manner, like i don't fully trust myself yet- i can be as lazy as i want right now since it's at the expense of literally nobody but as soon as i start playing with people's MONEY i feel like i have to treat it with a lot more respect!!