Pasti. Pasti pernah mengalami ini. Rasanya hampa menusuk, dingin, dan asing. Bahkan mungkin sedang terjadi padaku sekarang? Aku merasakan banyak hal kacau belakangan ini. Namun, aku engga akan membiarkan aku tenggelam dalam laut kegelapan dan hampa itu. Sebisa mungkin aku berusaha meraih permukaan laut, menyapa cahaya. Aku tidak akan menyerah untuk terus hidup. Dan aku selalu yakin, bahwa aku akan merasakan bahagia, bukan dalam waktu lama, namun dalam beberapa waktu diantara kesedihan itu. Karena dunia kita memang tak bisa selamanya bahagia maupun hampa. Keseimbangan itu lah, yang selalu aku usahakan hingga padanganku kabur, dan tertutup selamanya.

Yeah, I feel like that a lot. I catch myself zoning out about random stuff, everything feels so dull and monochrome, and my life feels monotonous. It’s this numb phase I DON’T wanna keep dealing with. So, lately, I’ve been trying new things, picking up hobbies (like I’m learning to edit even though I'm not great at it ;-;), writing poetry, and playing games. These might seem like small things to others, but, “life is more meaningful when I endow in them (my hobbies), not sumn that harms others, rather than in humans who ARE complex” resonates with me. When I feel like giving up, I remind myself there’s a new game lores tomorrow or there will be a TXT tour I have to attend as part of my dream.

Life might sucks sometimes and feel pointless, but tomorrow could be better, I promise, they’ll bring new colors. Try reaching out to others, don’t feel like you’re alone even if you think you are. There are people out there who’ll welcome you with open arms, who will warmly accept you.