i made some scrambled eggs one time, they were very undercooked :/

I melted a bag into the rice

I am banned from every Frankie and Benny's in Birmingham for vomiting on a waitress when I was six.

i know you prolly didn't mean this and i know it's gross but it technically involved food. i remember the first time i had ever gone to a buffet as a child and i was so overwhelmed i put everything i could ever want on my plate. i eventually ate so much i vomited all over the floor of the restaurant. a beautiful experience i assure you