beep

very rarely

I have my own nextcloud instance and get email hosting from a small-ish provider, but those are more out of a desire for powerful features than privacy

I need at least new search engine and a new keyboard on Android (that has Cangjie and Jyutping as input methods, so pretty tricky; I use Trime on my keyboard phone but it's janky)

if I was more creative I would reply with 23 questions of my own, but I'm not

Head (where "I" am): i5-3520M, integrated graphics, 8GB of DDR3L, 480GB SATA SSD, WiFi b/g/n
It runs Windows 11 Home, send help
Body (the part that actually processes sensory input and coordinates movement): Ryzen 7 4800H, RX 5600M, 32GB DDR4, 4 2TB NVMe SSDs, its own WiFi connection (802.11ac), some sort of Linux

neither

beep boop

depends on how you define 'use' - does it have to be open? can it be covered with curtains?

If the strictest criteria are to be applied, I'm guessing 16 hours

my condolences

uh... looks around awkwardly no?

not sure if this is directed at me, but if it is, thanks lol

doom 1993 yes, doom 2016 definitely not

yes, but only because I trust linux / windows LTSC not to enshittify/lock things down after updates
If I had, say, a current game console or an apple device, that thing is running its original firmware from day 1 until the day it dies

beep!!!

all 5 maybe; in terms of words this one actually use, mostly 1, 2, and 5