I guess pretty much any fruit is probably going to suck the most, so that's out, I think the bread depends on whether we're talking a nice crusty baguette or Wonder bread, I feel like that matters...I think the steak is out too, that would pretty much be like a slap on the ass, which is no fun (at least in this context) OK I think even the baguette is better than any fruit or steak, so I'm saying bread, final answer